Wednesday, April 22, 2009

When Grandma Goes to Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."

When Grandma Goes to Court

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great! Thank you!

It's just great reading how it really is in a small town where everybody knows everyone and nothing is secret - nothing.

I know I lived in a town with a population of 3600 on a good day.

Anonymous said...

This isn't for real - is it?

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Jones has real spunk -- she set the whippersnappers in their place with style!

StandUp said...

You tell 'em Grandma!

Anonymous said...

This is a good laugh!

Anonymous said...

Like they say, don't ask the question unless...you know what answer you will get. Isn't that lawyering l01?

Anonymous said...

This is a cute story. I hope it really happened!

Anonymous said...

Good one!

Anonymous said...

Grandma blew them away!