The 5 Most Controversial Decisions Alzheimer's Caregivers Will Ever Face

1. Should the Person Stop Driving?

Late one evening, I was deeply immersed in editing the photographs I'd taken at the Cincinnati Zoo that day when I was startled by the phone ringing. I thought it was probably Ed, my Romanian life partner and soul mate.

But it wasn't. It was a sweet female voice I didn't recognize calling to tell me she'd found Ed driving on the wrong side of the road. He'd pulled over and so she'd stopped too, and seeing how confused he was, she offered him a ride home.

Suddenly, I realized the cold hard truth: He could no longer drive safely. My heart sank and I told him very quietly that he had to stop driving.

Sooner or later, driving becomes a problem for all people with Alzheimer's. There are usually many warning signs that it is no longer safe for them to be driving. The Alzheimer's Association lists five primary ones:

• Forgetting how to locate familiar places
• Failing to observe traffic signs
• Making slow or poor decisions in traffic
• Driving at an inappropriate speed
• Becoming angry or confused while driving

I would add two obvious items to this list: Causing an accident or running into another car while parking.

When loved ones exhibit one or more of these, it's time to get them to stop driving. This will be one of the most difficult actions you will ever have to take. We all cherish the independence of being able to drive anywhere we want -- any time we want -- and people with Alzheimer's are no exception.

It's highly likely that you will face all manner of resistance, but you are ultimately responsible for getting the person to stop driving, one way or another.

2. Should the Person Be Placed in a Long-Term Care Facility?

Placing a loved one with Alzheimer's in a long-term care facility is highly controversial. The vast majority of families don't want to do it, and many refuse to even think about it. Some feel it's the most cruel, shameful thing they could possibly do to their loved one, even if they have access to a high-quality facility nearby.

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The 5 Most Controversial Decisions Alzheimer's Caregivers Will Ever Face