Unwanted house guests

A domestic violence survivor looks out the window at the Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence in Boulder County. June 15 is National World Abuse Awareness Day.
(Photo by SPAN staff)

By Eva Veitch

National World Abuse Awareness Day June 15.

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day (WEAAD) was launched on June 15, 2006, by the International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse and the World Health Organization at the United Nations.

The purpose of WEAAD is to provide an opportunity for communities around the world to promote a better understanding of abuse and neglect of older persons by raising awareness of the cultural, social, economic and demographic processes affecting elder abuse and neglect.

Elder abuse is defined as the mistreatment or harming of an older person. It can include physical, emotional or sexual abuse, along with neglect and financial exploitation. Social factors such as a lack of support services or community resources can increase the risk of elder abuse.

Mary took a fall over a year ago and broke her hip. Her grandson and his girlfriend moved in to help take care of her and they are still there. Neither of them works and Mary pays all the bills, buys the groceries (they use her debit card) and even pays someone to mow the lawn. They have taken over her life and her small home, they have taken her car keys because she is too “sick” to drive.

Mary is embarrassed to admit that she has allowed this to get so out of hand, but she is afraid to ask them to leave. I learned of her situation when she called my office to ask if there were volunteers to help with yardwork. We always probe a bit when people call to see if there are other services we may be able to provide. I am so glad that she was willing to talk to me about what is going on; it turns out her house guests were out to lunch when she called, and Mary was feeling very frustrated and told me the whole story.

I explained Adult Protective Services and asked her to please call right away. When the house guests returned, they had a lot of explaining to do! Mary is slowly putting her life back together, although her self-confidence has suffered.

This is not an unusual story; most exploitation occurs within the family and is often unreported. Older adults often feel afraid that they will be cut off from the family or put in a nursing home if they speak up.

Other forms of exploitation involve people offering to perform work and either don’t complete the work, do it improperly or take a deposit and never return.

Caregiver neglect occurs when the caregiver disregards the basic needs of an elder and withhold, food, hygiene or medications. This type of abuse often involves financial exploitation in addition to physical neglect and emotional abuse.

Sexual abuse and domestic violence of elders is also on the rise although seriously underreported because of stigma, fear or a lifelong pattern in the family that is accepted by the victim and other family members.

We all have a responsibility to advocate for the rights of elders and help keep them safe. How can you help? If you suspect something, ask questions, have a candid conversation with the elders in your life about the many types of abuse and exploitation that are occurring. Use yourself as an example of close calls you have had in the realm of financial exploitation; we all get the scam calls and it’s hard to ignore the call from the Social Security Administration or the IRS. Scams, exploitation, neglect and abuse do occur in our community.

Eva Veitch is with the Region 10 Area Agency on Aging.

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Unwanted house guests