By Rosa Flores and Denise Royal
Click to Watch Video
Miami (CNN)Victoria
Cerrone remembers the moment her parents tried to kiss through the
glass window of a memory care center in South Florida.
"That broke my heart," Cerrone said.
It was three months into the Covid-19 pandemic, and senior care centers were closed to visitors.
Standing inside, beyond the pane of glass, her 85-year-old father,
Vittorio Cerrone, wore two or three layers of clothing because he felt
cold. His hands were shaking from the effects of his new dementia
medication, his daughter remembered. And his eyes peered through the glass with sadness.
Cerrone's 82-year-old mother, Elisabeth
Cerrone, had walked between some hedges and was standing as close as she
could to the window that separated her from the love of her life. The
temperature that day, her daughter recalled, was 95 degrees. A painful
silence filled the humid air.
Elisabeth Cerrone waits outside her husband's memory care facility for a chance to visit through a window.
"I think my mom was just happy to see him and be able to get her eyes on him," Cerrone said.
Millions of families across the country have experienced unfathomable pain from the forced separation
from their elderly loved ones due to Covid-19 lockdowns at nursing
homes, assisted living facilities and long-term care centers. Some
families, desperate to connect, made posters and signs and displayed them outside nursing home windows.
More than six months into the pandemic, a handful of states still don't allow visitors. Most states, including Florida, however, have recently eased restrictions to allow limited visitations.
The
rule change has made for heartwarming reunions, like the one between
Mark Lebenthal and his 89-year-old stepmother, Arlene Lebenthal, at
Grand Villa of Delray Beach West in Palm Beach County, Florida.
The
visitation rules are strict. Lebenthal had to make an appointment, pass
a health screening with a temperature check and dress in full personal
protection equipment, or PPE -- all before a staff member escorted him
to Arlene's room.
"I love you," Mark said as he hugged her for the first time in months. "You look great."
Mark Lebenthal visits with his stepmother, Arlene Lebenthal, in person for the first time in months.
Arlene
was sitting in her wheelchair watching TV when Mark walked in. A smile
filled her face. Her silver hair was freshly styled, her make-up was
done and she fashioned red reading glasses.
"Give
me a kiss," Arlene said as she grabbed Mark's face with one hand and
kissed his cheek over his face shield. She shared that while she had
played bingo and participated in other activities, not being allowed to
have visitors had been "tough."
The
conversation quickly turned to Mark's father, Michael Lebenthal, who
died in April. His dying wish was that his son find Arlene a comfortable
senior living facility, Mark said.
"Make sure she is not alone," Mark
remembered his father telling him before passing away. At the time,
Arlene was hospitalized, recovering from a severe back injury. She never
got to say goodbye to her husband of 45 years. Mark knew she couldn't
go back home.
"It was horrible. For a while I didn't feel anything. I felt pain but couldn't feel any emotion," Arlene said.
"He loved you," Mark said.
Until
that face-to-face visit with Arlene, the Covid-19 pandemic had made it
impossible for Mark to personally confirm that he had delivered on his
promise. Senior care facilities in Florida shut their doors to visitors
in March.
"It's been challenging,"
said Sophia Rich, executive director of Grand Villa of Delray Beach
West. "Everyone knows that Florida was hit hard by the pandemic."
In Florida, more than 5,500 staff members or residents of long-term care facilities have died since the pandemic began, according to the Florida Department of Health. Nationwide, confirmed Covid-19 cases in nursing home residents has surpassed 231,000, federal data show. Of those, more than 55,800 have died.
In
July and August, on average, "more than one nursing home resident was
infected every minute, and 11 residents died every hour," a US Senate report released
this month found. And despite calls for help from communities across
the country, some nursing homes still lacked adequate testing capacity
and suffered staff and PPE shortages, the report found.
"It's
a real tragedy," said Dionne Polite, AARP's director for state
operations for Florida. "We are not supposed to treat our older adults
the way that they are being treated right now."
Victoria
Cerrone had to wait six months to visit her father, Vittorio Cerrone,
inside a memory care facility. This photo captures the lasting memory.
For
Victoria Cerrone, the window visits with her father eventually grew too
painful, she said. As she stood there, beyond the hedges, she began to
see how the image of the successful businessman and world traveler that
she remembered was fading away. He was losing weight, becoming agitated,
depressed and confused.
"The lack
of being able to reassure my father was the hardest thing to go
through," Cerrone said. "And he definitely declined as a result of
that."
FaceTime visits were also
too confusing. "Dementia patients can't understand FaceTime. They need
touch. They have to have human touch," Cerrone said.
Desperate to help her father, Cerrone
contacted politicians at the local, state and federal levels to advocate
for visitations so she and her mother could visit Vittorio in person.
With
every month that passed, the heartbreak intensified. Vittorio and
Elisabeth Cerrone didn't get to celebrate their 58th wedding
anniversary, Father's Day and his birthday.
It would take six months for Florida to ease the visitation rules.
"I gave him a giant hug. I didn't let him go," Cerrone recalled of their in-person reunion. "I just told him I loved him."
Vittorio Cerrone closed his eyes, his daughter remembered, and cried in silence.
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