Benjamin Franklin said, “… I can’t say anything for sure in this world, except for death and taxes.”
I add, “And I hate talking about either.”
Parents are often wary of talking about money with adult children, and children often do not want to talk about their parents’ death, no matter how far or imminent their death is. This can lead to conflicts in the final stages of a parent’s life and irreparable damage to the relationships of the surviving children.
Communication on these important issues is important and is often overlooked in the name of privacy.
What the family should know
Of course, each family is different, but there are some issues that you should discuss with your family if you are ill or incapacitated, or with your heirs. Discussions with family meetings and all or at least most of the members present will help avoid future grudges.
Healthcare wishes
It is important that all adults have a pre-medical order detailing their wishes for health care (painkillers, end-of-life care, religious beliefs, etc.) and post-mortem problems (organ donation, autopsy, cremation, burial). is. , Funeral arrangements). It is just as important to discuss exactly what their wishes are with designated agents and relatives.
If you are incapacitated, the designated agent will make certain decisions based on the general conditions of the Directive. Therefore, it is important to understand what “quality of life” means to you for the agents and families you may be involved with. Do you mean you can communicate? read? Do you understand when someone is talking to you? Do you breathe yourself?
Make sure that everyone understands those wishes, not just those nominated by the Directive. As one doctor said, regardless of the content of the document, the decision may be the loudest in the room.
Who are your decision makers?
The power of attorney is a document that allows other parties to act on your behalf if you become incapacitated. People tend to think of the power of attorney as a document dealing with financial issues. It’s possible, but it’s more or less.
If all your assets are in a living trust, the trustee will treat them, not the power of your lawyer. The power of your lawyer deals with assets that are out of your trust (or all your assets if you do not have trust). This includes claiming claims, proceedings, choosing a medical facility, hiring a caretaker, and making all personal decisions on your behalf. It’s not a small job.
Make sure your family knows who and why they are designated to act on your behalf. Disagree with them and give them the opportunity to respond to these disputes.
Discord can quickly occur when the family is surprised at your choice, especially when it is stressful.
Wills and conditions of trust
Parents often don’t want to know how wealthy they are, no matter how old their children are. I’ve heard several parents half-heartedly joking that they want to kill their parents if they know how much money their children have.
But inevitably, the children will know it (and when they did, I haven’t seen the case of parricide yet). It’s always good to be able to talk with parents (or other heirs), avoid surprises, and set realistic expectations.
Children may be happy to say that they are not interested in inheritance, and moms and dads can leave everything to poorer children. It will often change when a child learns that his father and mother have far more wealth than expected, and then controversy is likely to arise.
If you still don’t want to speak numbers, consider discussing them with your child or other heirs in common language. Let them know that you have a will or trust, who you have chosen as a trustee, how your property will be divided, and if you have a particular gift.
If you are giving a particular gift, such as a home or family business, please inform your heirs of this and the terms.
I used to have a client who often said that Child A, who is in the family business, would take over the business. Child A mistakenly assumed that when his father died, Child A would take over the business and this would be a direct gift before the other assets were split into Child A and Child B.
Child A overlooked that the mother was still alive and dependent on income from the business, and that the business far exceeded half the value of the property. A business gift to Child A, whose other assets were evenly divided between the two children, would have dramatically reduced Child B’s share.
Dad meant that while mom was alive, the business would continue to be owned by the trust with income to support her. Only after the mother has taken over will Child A receive the business as part of Child A’s half share. This misunderstanding caused a serious conflict between Child A, Mother and Child B.
The devil is always in the details
Family meetings to discuss your property and your desire for care can alleviate family difficulties in the long run. Please be as clear and detailed as possible so that all parties can express their views. You don’t have to change your plan, but you’ll be amazed at the response and find a better way.
Real estate planning documents can only do that — the rest is up to you.
Teresa J. Rhyne is a lawyer practicing real estate planning and trust management at Riverside and Paso Robles. She is also the New York Times best-selling author of “The Dog Lived (and So Will I)” and “Poppy in the Wild.” Teresa@trlawgroup.net
Difficult discussions can help avoid messy family fights – Press Telegram Source link Difficult discussions can help avoid messy family fights – Press Telegram
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