How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

For eleven years I pleaded with my ‘challenging’ elderly father to allow a caregiver to help him with my ailing mother, but he always insisted on taking care of her himself. Every caregiver I hired soon sighed in exasperation, ‘Jacqueline, I just can’t work with your father. His temper is impossible to handle and he’s not going to accept help until he’s on his knees himself.’

When my father’s inability to continue to care for my mother nearly resulted in her death, I stepped in despite his loud protests. It was so heart-breaking as one minute he’d be my loving father and then some trivial little thing would set him off and he’d call me horrible names and throw me out of the house. I took him to several doctors and even a psychiatrist, only to be flabbergasted that he could act completely normal when he needed to.

Finally I stumbled upon a thorough neurologist, specialized in dementia, who put my parents through a battery of blood, neurological, memory tests and P.E.T. scans. After ruling out numerous reversible forms of dementia, such as a B-12 and thyroid deficiency, and evaluating their medications, he shocked me with the diagnosis of Stage One Alzheimer’s in both of my parents – something all their other doctors missed entirely.

What I’d been coping with was the beginning of Alzheimer’s, which starts very intermittently and appears to come and go. I didn’t understand that my father was addicted and trapped in his own deeply engrained bad behavior of a lifetime of screaming and yelling to get his way, which was coming out intermittently in inconsistent spurts of over-the-top irrationality. I also didn’t understand that ‘demented’ does not mean ‘dumb’ (a concept not widely appreciated), and that he was still socially adjusted never to show his ‘Mr. Hyde’ side to anyone outside the family. Conversely, my mother was as sweet and lovely as she’d always been.

Alzheimer’s makes up 60-80% of all dementias and there’s no stopping the progression nor is there yet a cure. However, if identified early there are four FDA approved medications (many more in clinical trials) that in most patients can mask dementia symptoms and keep them in the early independent stage longer.

Full Article and Source:
How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

JOIN the ElderRage Facebook page!

Woman arrested for forging new will after someone died

KAIT Jonesboro, AR - Region 8 News, weather, sports
WALNUT RIDGE, AR (KAIT) -A Walnut Ridge woman was arrested Thursday for forging a will after someone else had died.

On April 28, a victim told police that one of their relatives had died and she had found out that a new will had been entered into court two days after the death.

The information in the new will differed greatly to the known will.

Once the victim got a copy of the will, she said it was obvious that it was forged by Kimberly Dement Dotson.

In the new will, it stated that all of the decedent's property was left to Dotson and also said there were “no living relatives.”

The victim also had a certified forensic document examiner look at the will. That examiner swore on an affidavit that the decedent “did not write or sign” the new will.

According to the affidavit from the Craighead County District Court, Dotson made several purchases using the decedent's debit card and withdrew money from his bank account, totaling $3,512.73 for personal use.

This was while he was bed-ridden, in the hospital and after his death.

Dotson was arrested and charged with forgery.

According to the Craighead County Sheriff's Department website, she was released from custody Friday.
 
Full Article & Source:
Woman arrested for forging new will after someone died

Happy July 4th!

Facing Florida: Free Ernestine and the New Guardianship Law

Source:
NASGA:  Ernestine Franks, Florida Victim

The Peter Falk Bill: Columbo's Daughter, Catherine Falk

CATHERINE FALK, the daughter of beloved actor Peter Falk aka Columbo, is waging a state-by-state campaign to grant children access to an elderly or incapacitated parent who is under someone else's care, & her visiting-rights bills are advancing in New York and California. If the bills go into effect, it could provide a useful model for legislation in other states.

Despite a long & varied career, Peter Falk gained fame for his portrayal of the dishevelled but crafty Los Angeles Lieutenant. Columbo always wore a grubby raincoat & smoked cigars, & usually made a false exit before uttering his catchphrase: ‘Just one more thing.’ The original series ran for seven years from 1971, but was constantly re-commissioned throughout the 1980s and 1990s due to its popularity. When Peter was diagnosed with dementia in 2008, Catherine found it difficult to get information about his well being.

"The visitation bill basically is a protection, a law that protects adult children and ailing elderly parents when your parent is being isolated or secluded away from family, friends and loved ones," Catherine Falk said. As divorce and remarriage become more prevalent in today’s society, there is a greater possibility of conflicts between a second spouse and children from a first marriage. These conflicts can become very contentious when a parent is incapacitated, enters into a conservatorship, & the current spouse cuts off access between the parent & a child from a previous marriage.

The Peter Falk bill is close to passing in 10 states through bipartisan support. In the State of New York, the Peter Falk Bill – Bill #3461 – is in the Assembly & ready to be passed and approved. The Catherine Falk Organization offers a support center for those who need assistance for getting visitation rights to see an ailing parent.

www.catherinefalkorganization.org

Source:
The Peter Falk Bill:  Columbo's Daughter, Catherine Falk

JOIN the Catherine Falk Organization's Facebook Page

The Catherine Falk Organization

Family divided over millionaire's mental competence

Hatti Poole

Hattie Poole’s affairs are controlled by a court-appointed guardian, her son.

The fear of aging really is the fear of losing control of your life.

Loss of control can manifest itself in a physical or mental deterioration that robs you of your independence. It also cam stem from intrafamily legal squabbles that turn you into a mere pawn of the guardianship process, forced to sit back and watch while others debate your competence and evaluate your lucidity.

That last scenario is the nightmare that’s playing out right now for Hattie Poole.

Poole, 85, deserves so much better than this. With her late husband, Duane, she helped build Industrial Communications, a highly successful radio service and sales company whose original office was located at the site of what later became HemisFair Arena.

She worked tirelessly for charities, co-founding Guadalupe Home (a transitional living center for homeless pregnant women) and playing an active role in fundraising efforts for Padua Place (a home for retired priests). In 2005, the San Antonio Women’s Hall of Fame inducted her, in tribute to her years of volunteerism.

But Poole finds herself in a situation where her affairs are controlled by a court-appointed guardian (her son, Jeff). She can’t touch her estate of more than $3 million and must get by on an allowance.

In what she regards as the cruelest cut of all, Probate Court Judge Tom Rickhoff has not even allowed her to pick her own attorney. As a result, Poole’s own estate money is being used to pay a court-appointed lawyer she believes is working against her interests, while she’s also forced to pay the attorney hired by her son to argue against her right to choose her legal representation.

This sad case has divided the Poole family, with Hattie’s daughter Laura insisting her mother is fully competent to make her own decisions, and Hattie’s three sons arguing that she is incapacitated. As with many guardianship battles, this one centers around the death of a parent and the subsequent emergence of a new romantic partner for the surviving parent.

Hattie lost Duane in 2012, after more than 60 years of marriage, and has since become engaged to Ben Marek, a man 30 years her junior. According to a Jan. 27 court application requesting that Rickhoff turn over her guardianship to Jeff Poole, Hattie attempted to transfer $225,000 to Marek last December, and Frost Bank responded by freezing her account. The case also was referred to Adult Protective Services.

Jeff Poole did not respond to an interview request for this column.

A recent neuropsychological exam concluded Hattie has experienced “mild” loss of memory and executive functioning. When she spoke to me by phone on Thursday afternoon, Hattie sounded remarkably lucid. Over the course of a 15-minute conversation, she spoke in a soft voice but displayed a strong command of the facts of the case.

“It’s been really frustrating and sad. I cry a lot,” she said. “I feel betrayed. Unfortunately, the court system seems to be so unfair. I’m older than the fiance, and Mr. Rickhoff’s court seems to think that it’s OK for a future husband to be older, but it’s not OK for the future wife to be older than her fiance.”

Poole reached out to trial attorney Barry Snell to represent her, but Rickhoff refused to allow it. Rickhoff did not respond to an interview request for this column.

Snell hopes to take her case to the 4th Court of Appeals, but there are legal questions about whether he has the authority to file an appeal on her behalf, given the fact that Rickhoff ruled her incompetent to hire her own attorney.

“I have no criticism of the motives of anyone, including Judge Rickhoff,” Snell said. “I think they all believe they’re doing what’s best for the lady. But the point is, no one in this thing was advocating for what she wanted, and it struck me that, ‘Hey this is really unfair. They’re going to take all of this lady’s property away from her and even take away her right to marry, without a jury trial that she’s entitled to.’”

Hattie Poole has earned the right to live her later years the way she chooses. But with the entanglements of a family business, estate considerations and questions about mental competence, the legal system won’t allow it to be that simple.

“It’s my life. I let my sons choose their fiancees and their wives, and I didn’t interfere. So I don’t know why they would want to interfere with my life now,” she said. “I feel as though I’ve been pushed in a corner.”

Full Article & Source:
Family divided over millionaire's mental competence

Jury Awards Family $1.2 M in Nursing Home Abuse Case

An Oklahoma jury awarded $1.2 million to the family of a 96-year-old woman who was abused in a nursing home by two employees.

Eryetha Mayberry’s three daughters filed a nursing home abuse lawsuit against Quail Creek Nursing Home and Rehabilitation Center in Oklahoma after hidden camera footage showed the elderly dementia patient’s caretakers manhandling her. The case reached federal court in Oklahoma City and judge announced the verdict on February 13.

Daughter Doris Racher and her two sisters installed cameras in their mother’s room after they suspected someone at the home was stealing from her. Mayberry passed away in July 2012, a few months after the video was released.

The video shows nursing home employees Lucy Waithira Gakunga and Caroline Kaseke forcing Mayberry to lie down by pushing her head and preventing her from breathing. Gakunga also shoved latex gloves into the grandmother’s mouth as Kaseke watched, the Daily Mail reported.

The two employees were fired, and they face criminal charges. The jury found the nursing home guilty of negligence and abuse.

“All in the memory of our mother. All of us fought hard and are just happy that now we can relax a little bit, and mother’s probably smiling,” Racher told the paper. “I’m so grateful for the outcome, because we told the truth and the truth always prevails.”

Nursing Home to Appeal

Attorneys for Quail Creek said the jury’s award was excessive. The facility plans to appeal the verdict.

Oklahoma’s nursing homes rank third-worst in the country last year, according to data gathered by the nonprofit group Families for Better Care. The year before, the state ranked fourth.

Inadequate staffing is a problem in these facilities, said Brian Lee, FBC’s executive director.

“When a facility is understaffed, you don’t have people paying attention and who are getting people up and mobile or turning them so they don’t develop bedsores — or making sure that they are getting the medical attention that they need,” elder care expert Elaine Sanchez told Drugwatch.

While many families rely on nursing homes and assisted living facilities to care for elderly parents, abuse and neglect is a reality in many facilities. Statistics estimate 1 in 3 residents faces abuse, and many homes under-report the number of incidents that occur.

Feds Toughen Up on Nursing Homes

Last week, the federal government announced it will make it harder for nursing homes to earn top grades. Officials intend to scrutinize use of anti-psychotic drugs and bolster a number of quality measures.

The government website, Nursing Home Compare, grades facilities on a on to five-star rating system. The site, launched in 2008, rates more than 15,000 nursing homes on government inspections, staffing levels and quality measures.

Ideally, the site would allow the public to choose the best home for their needs. But, critics say the site relies too heavily on self-reported data from facilities and even those with top grades still face violations and fines. The feds will look into quality benchmarks like how many residents fall in facilities, how many are on anti-psychotic medications and how many suffer from bedsores, but will still rely on self-reported statistics for these quality measures.

Advocates praise the change, while industry lobbyists are less excited about the changes.

“If centers across the country start losing star ratings overnight, it sends a signal to families and residents that quality is on the decline,” said Mark Parkinson told Kaiser Health News. Parkinson is president and CEO of the American Health Care Association, the industry lobby.

The new scores are expected soon.

Full Article & Source:
Jury Awards Family $1.2 M in Nursing Home Abuse Case

Steve Miller: Judge Steel Frees Three "Wards" From Exploitive Court Ordered Guardianship On Same Day

LAS VEGAS - In a unprecedented flurry of court action, on June 30, newly appointed Clark County Family Court Judge Cynthia Dianne Steel freed three previously court appointed wards of the court from the custody of their for-hire guardian April Parks.

What would normally have taken years of expensive court hearings, motions, and lawsuits, in two short hearings conducted in one afternoon, over the protests of Parks and her attorney Lee A. Drizin, Judge Steel patiently listened to family members of three of Parks' wards as they, acting without attorneys, explained that their parents were being exploited, and must immediately be released from Parks' guardianship.

In the case of Elizabeth Indig, her daughter told the court that Parks and her attorney allowed her mother's Henderson home valued at over $200,000 to be foreclosed upon and sold at auction for only $22,000 with Drizin's full knowledge, and without the court's required accounting or oversight.

Attorney Drizen was reportedly furious after the accusation and filed a motion with the court to have the family member who was representing her mother pro per, fined for vexatious litigation, and harassing April Parks. Judge Steel will hear Drizen's argument on Thursday July 2, but is not expected to rule in his favor based on her June 30 ruling in favor of the release of Elizabeth Indig from Parks' guardianship in which the family member acted as her own attorney in spite of Drizen's loud protestations.

In the case of Rudy and Rennie North, their daughter told the court that her parents were not mentally impaired and do not need to be under court ordered guardianship. That during Parks' guardianship, the North's assets were taken, and the court did not require an annual accounting.

In both cases, family members told Judge Steel that Parks initially came to their parent's homes impersonating a police officer, and ordered the elderly people to come with her to a rest home, or face arrest.

April Parks 

In both cases, family members were not informed of Parks' actions until after the parents were removed from their homes.

At subsequent hearings held before appointed Family Court Hearing Master Jon Norheim, (a former mob lawyer) neither Norheim or his boss Judge Charles Hoskin listened to the pleas of family members, and after being informed by Parks or her attorney that the adult children were either "unfit," "exploiters," or "drug addicts," ruled that Parks be granted permanent guardian status for the rest of the parent's lives.

Following a series of stories in The Vegas Voice, and on KNTV Ch. 13 News, the Boulder City Police Department opened an investigation of April Parks, and soon thereafter, her name was stricken from the State of Nevada's list of professional guardians.

It is not yet known whether the families of Parks' victims plan to take legal action to try to recover the monies Parks allegedly converted from their parent's estates.

Betrayal of trust, Part 4: How to help the vulnerable

Shannon Mullen, @MullenAPP 

Billions are stolen from the elderly and infirm across the country each year. Here's how to stop it

On June 15, some 200 New Jersey judges, attorneys, guardians and court employees heard a sobering message from the state's top judge.

Read the Betrayal of Trust series

A "silver tsunami" is about to hit New Jersey, New Jersey Chief Justice Stuart Rabner warned attendees at a conference on elder abuse at Stockton University in Galloway, Atlantic County.

By 2027, just 12 years from now, 1 in 5 state residents will be 65 or older, according to the New Jersey Department of Labor.

That's 2 million people, with homes, retirement funds and other assets worth billions of dollars — a tempting target for criminals who prey on the elderly.

In time, many of these boomers will fall victim to Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia. When that happens, thousands of additional cases will pour into a guardianship system that's already in trouble.

"Judges appoint, of late, 2,000 guardians each year, and it's an enormous challenge for surrogates, for the court system," Rabner said. "To be able to oversee that large number of guardians, it's simply not possible based on the resources that exist."

Yet without major changes, cases like the one involving Barbara J. Lieberman, the now disgraced former Atlantic County attorney who stole millions from incapacitated wards and other elderly clients, are bound to increase.

With all its fiscal woes, what can New Jersey do?

For now, it's counting on volunteers to pick up the slack.

Under a program first introduced in 2013 and expanded across the state last year, trained volunteer monitors are helping the surrogates in all 21 New Jersey counties to review guardian reports and case files.

To date, 69 volunteers have reviewed nearly 4,900 guardianship case files statewide, according to the New Jersey Judiciary.

Click here for a breakdown of volunteer monitoring efforts in each county.

What they've found so far, Rabner said, is a "high level of non-compliance" with reporting requirements by guardians across the state.

Four key fixes
Reforming a guardianship system rooted in medieval laws that allowed for the seizure of property owned by "lunatics" won't be easy, experts say.

For starters, they point to four major areas that need immediate attention:

Better data. How can you fix any problem when you don't know how widespread it is? That's the quandary with guardianship today. There simply are no reliable statistics on the number of Americans who rely on guardians to manage their affairs. That's because only a couple of states track these cases, which are typically administered at the county level. One "guesstimate" pegs the total at 1.5 million, but the real number could be twice that.

Closer monitoring. Most states, including New Jersey, require guardians to file periodic updates on the status of their wards' health and finances. But few courts across the U.S. have the manpower or technology to track and scrutinize these reports. Disreputable guardians know that. With no one looking over their shoulders, they're free to use their wards like ATM machines. One notable exception is Minnesota, which recently implemented a centralized, statewide auditing system to hold guardians accountable.

Barbara Lieberman in Superior Court. (Photo: Staff photo/Bob Bielk)

Greater use of alternatives. Guardianships that strip someone of their autonomy and all their legal rights are supposed to be the remedy of last resort. Yet in too many courts across the U.S., it's the default option, experts say. On the federal level, the U.S. Administration on Aging has tried to promote a more individualistic alternative, called supported decision-making. Using a case management approach, it starts by digging deeper to identify the elderly or disabled person's specific needs. The next step is to line up different people or resources that can address those needs. One person might help pay their bills, for example, while another might help with transportation or household chores. "It's kind of a community taking care of someone, instead of (one person) taking all their rights away and having control over them," explains Elaine Renoire, president of the National Association to Stop Guardianship Abuse, based in Indiana.

A more accessible review process. For some, guardianship operates like the Hotel California in the old Eagles' song: "You can check in any time you like, but you can never leave." Stripped of their legal rights, wards who recover from alcoholism or a traumatic brain injury often have a hard time getting back in front of a judge to have their autonomy restored, especially if their guardians won't cooperate. "It can be extremely difficult to get out from under a guardianship," says researcher Brenda K. Uekert, a leading expert on guardianships in the U.S. At the same time, she adds, many courts lack a mechanism for relatives or concerned friends to have the person's guardianship reviewed.

'Entitled' to steal
Until now, monitoring and enforcement has been so lax, the few people who have been charged with abusing their authority practically had to turn themselves in to get caught.

Sources have told the Asbury Park Press that it was one of Lieberman's co-defendants, Susan Hamlett, who triggered a criminal investigation after she brought one of Lieberman's elderly victims to see another attorney. The attorney alerted authorities that he suspected the woman was a victim of elder abuse.

Christopher J. Donadio says he incriminated himself while being deposed in a civil case involving unpaid bills.

Then a K-9 officer with the Monmouth County Sheriff's Department, with an annual salary of $87,400, Donadio had power of attorney over his first wife's elderly aunt, Edna Prester. Prester suffered from Alzheimer's disease, according to court records.

Donadio, 48, says he helped move Prester from her filthy, rodent-infested home in upstate New York to an expensive assisted-living facility in Colts Neck.

But he also helped himself to Prester's money.

Donadio arranged to pay for Prester's care with proceeds from the sale of three properties she owned, authorities said.

When the facility requested the funds, Donadio produced and presented several bogus expense receipts, authorities charged.

After the assisted-living facility filed a lawsuit, Donadio says he revealed in his deposition that he had misappropriated some of Prester's money. The facility then notified authorities.

Prester died in 2010 at age 87.

A grand jury charged Donadio with stealing $100,000 from Prester's account.

Donadio pleaded guilty in 2011 to the theft of more than $75,000. He also admitted that he opened a credit card in the name of his second wife's mother and used a co-worker's credit card number to make purchases. He agreed to pay $32,000 in restitution to the assisted-living facility.

"He wanted to live the good life," says Donadio's second wife, Maura Johnson, 37, of Holmdel. The couple divorced in 2008 after 11 months of marriage.

"Concerts, jewelry, vacations," she says, "it was all for luxury."

Sentenced to four years in prison, Donadio was paroled after serving three months.

Today, Donadio, who now works in the restaurant and transportation industry, says he's sorry for what he did.

With nobody watching over his shoulder, he says, "It was easy for me to take the money."

He describes his rationale for stealing Prester's money this way:

"Well she's OK, she's in an assisted living facility, I improved her living situation, so I should be entitled to that."

A first in the U.S.
New Jersey's volunteer guardianship monitoring program — which Rabner says is the first of its kind in the U.S. — addresses the first two of those key issues.

Stuart Rabner, chief justice of the New Jersey Supreme Court. (Photo: Mel Evans / AP)

As volunteers work through case files, looking for missing reports or red flags pointing to possible improprieties, they're also entering information into a new statewide database.

Until now, New Jersey has never tracked guardianship cases. Some county surrogates don't even know how many of their cases are still active.

Rabner believes the total number of active guardianships statewide may be in the tens of thousands, but no one is sure.

While prior experience with accounting or the courts is a plus, it's not required to join the program.
"To be sure, we need to enlist (and) train yet more volunteers to be able to continue and review these reports on a sustained basis," Rabner told the conference attendees.

"But make no mistake, the very fact that this program now exists in New Jersey will cause people to think twice before they might even consider to take a step to take advantage of those they've promised to help," he added.

Uekert, for one, believes New Jersey is taking a practical approach. She spoke at the elder abuse conference in Stockton and came away impressed by New Jersey's commitment to do a better job policing guardians.

"Ideally you would have a cadre of trained professionals (reviewing guardianship case files) but the courts generally don't have the funds to have those types of personnel," says Uekert, principal court research consultant for the National Center for State Courts, based in Williamsburg, Virginia.

"Volunteers," she believes, "would be better than nothing."

But at least one other expert is strongly opposed to the idea.

"It's just another way of trivializing the problem by saying, 'We can handle this with volunteers,' " says Minnesota law professor A. Kimberley Dayton.

"It's about money, a lack of resources. Until that's fixed, none of this is going to be fixed," she says. "It's just going to keep on going and going."

In Atlantic County, where Lieberman was based, two volunteer monitors have helped the county surrogate review more than 330 cases so far.

But by the time the volunteers began their work last year, the damage was already done.

Shannon Mullen: 732-643-4278; smullen4@gannettnj.com.

Full Article & Source:
Betrayal of trust, Part 4: How to help the vulnerable