Showing posts with label financial support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label financial support. Show all posts

Monday, July 25, 2022

'She is at risk of outliving her savings': My mother, 100, was tricked into deeding her home to my brother. How can I persuade him to give her financial support?

By Quentin Fottrell

'What course of action can she take to make sure her final days are spent peacefully in a dignified home, with the caregiving help she has been used to?'

Dear Quentin,

Several years ago, our father died and left a fully paid house to our mother because he knew she would be needing some financial support in her later years. Unfortunately, a few years ago our older brother tricked our mother into deeding the house to him.

Our mother is almost 100 years old, and she is living in an assisted-living residence and at risk of outliving her savings. The financial assistance that our father had planned for her is in our brother's hands.

What can she do to make sure her son provides the financial support that her husband had planned for her all along? What course of action can she take to make sure her final days are spent peacefully in a dignified home, with the caregiving help she has been used to?

Concerned Child

Dear Concerned,

This column is replete with letters of financial malfeasance involving elderly relatives. It's all too common. Vulnerable people are often targets for financial exploitation, and unfortunately their abusers are often someone they know and trust, such as a friend or even a close family member.

The Department of Justice defines financial or property exploitation as "illegal or improper use of an elderly or adult with a disability's money, property, or other resources for monetary or personal benefit, profit or gain."

"This includes, but is not limited to, theft, misappropriation, concealment, misuse or fraudulent deprivation of money or property belonging to the elderly or adult with a disability," the Justice Department adds. In this case, elderly is defined as anyone aged 60 years or older.

Statutes of limitations vary by state, so the earlier you take action the better. In California, for instance, the statute of limitations for elder financial abuse "is generally four years from when the plaintiff discovered or should have discovered the abuse," the Velasco Law Group says.

But if the financial abuse is "current and ongoing," there is no statute of limitations in California on elderly financial abuse. Of course, even if there were evidence of abuse, it could take years -- and your mother, at age 100, likely will not have time to pursue and win such a case.

Patricia Tobin, a certified elder law attorney based in San Rafael, Calif., and fellow of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, recommends checking the elder-law section of your local county bar association for a referral and/or the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys.

Assuming that your brother will not take out a home-equity credit line or use rental income from the house, Tobin said a lawsuit would likely be onerous. "Such an action may not be supported by the facts of the situation, and could be very hard to win, and create a long burdensome project, with only limited chance of success."

Generally, when someone transfers the deed of their home, it's a done deal. It's one of those irrevocable acts that can come back to haunt the former homeowner. (Exhibit A: "I quit-claimed my house to my most responsible son. Now he has blocked my calls.")

Roughly 35% of adults say there's a 50% chance or more of them outliving their savings, while the same percentage says it's more likely their savings will last; 18% say they don't know. Other surveys say more than half of people believe they'll outlive their retirement savings.

A quarter of 65-year-old Americans will have "severe need" for long-term care at home or in an assisted-living facility, this report released last year by the Center for Retirement Research found. That includes bathing and eating, and/or grocery shopping and cooking.

Even if the truth lay somewhere in between, the prospect of outliving retirement savings -- especially when there are assisted-living expenses to be paid -- is a challenge faced by millions of elderly Americans and their families who may struggle to help support them.

Given that the house is paid off free and clear, I suggest that you meet with your brother face to face, tell him that you wish to discuss your mother's care, and ask him to consider refinancing or providing funds in lieu of refinancing. No texts or emails.

If appealing to his best nature does not work -- assuming he has a "best nature" -- you could, as a last resort, use the manner in which your mother transferred the deed to him as leverage. Ultimately, however, you may have to rely on Medicaid to supplement your mother's needs.

"To be eligible for Medicaid, one cannot have assets greater than the limit," the American Council on Aging says. "Medicaid's look-back period is meant to prevent Medicaid applicants from giving away assets or selling them under fair market value to meet Medicaid's asset limit."

In 49 U.S. states and Washington, D.C., the look-back period is 60 months; in California, it's 30 months. If a Medicaid beneficiary inherits money "and gives all (or some) of the money away, they are in violation of the look back rule," the American Council on Aging adds.

I wish you the best of luck in taking care of your mother and finding a suitable path forward. There are no easy answers, especially when the one person in the family with the means to help the relative in question lives in a different moral universe.

Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life's thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

Full Article & Source:

Monday, December 17, 2018

American parents are spending billions on their adult children


From Ashton Kutcher to Bill Gates, there's a growing list of notable figures who say they will not be leaving an inheritance for their children. For the average American, there might not be much to leave behind when faced with the choice between supporting adult children or saving for retirement.

Parents are choosing to cover the costs of groceries, rent and cellphone bills for their adult kids.

A recent study from Merrill Lynch found that 79 percent of parents continue to serve as the "family bank" for their grown-up children, paying for big-ticket items like college and weddings, but also for smaller, everyday expenses. Parents of adult children contribute $500 billion annually -- twice the amount that they invest in their own retirement accounts.

Sixty-three percent of parents said in the study they have sacrificed their financial security for the sake of their children.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 34.1 percent of people aged 18 to 34 lived under their parents' roof in 2015. That's up from 26 percent in 2005. One in four young people living in their parents' home neither go to school nor work. 
             
Denver tax and estate planning attorney Denise Hoffman White worries that propping up adult kids today hurts them tomorrow.

"You start to see adult children who are not being put in a position where they can be successful in their own right because they have a crutch which is different than an opportunity," said Hoffman White, who tries to train clients who are parents to talk to their kids about money the same way they teach manners or good grades.

Lorna Sabbia, head of Retirement and Personal Wealth Solutions at Bank of America Merrill Lynch, noted another possible outcome of supporting adult children.

"If you get to a point where truly your retirement savings or savings just in general is completely depleted to support your kids, ultimately your kids may actually have to provide financial support for you later on in life as well," she said.

Gary and Sandy Cooper's children may be grown up far beyond their years.

"You want to give … but sometimes giving them isn't actually helping them," said Gary Cooper, a private wealth adviser at UBS Financial Services. "Our job is to help them, not do for them, right?"

The Coopers try to teach life-long lessons in budgeting and money discipline with things as simple as a box of Oreos.

"You're welcome to eat them all tonight or you can allot them out and learn to make them last until the next time we go buy the next box of Oreos," said Sandy Cooper. "It's a concept of saving, of budgeting, of understanding -- that feeling of delayed gratification."
coopers.jpg
The Coopers  CBS News
The Cooper kids have learned some lessons.

When 16-year-old Kyle wanted to buy the family car, he paid for it by maintaining a $1,000-a-year high school academic scholarship.

"I think the lesson was regardless of the money, if you work hard for something then you will be rewarded, whether it be by some physical thing or some emotional-- you'll be rewarded for hard work."

Kyle does part-time jobs like tutoring and shoveling snow to pay for extras like gas.

Nolan, 14, already knows his parents will only fund four years of college. After that, he's on his own.

"So, if my parents start us while we're young with the expectation that we have to work to get what we really want, that later in life we'll be able to prosper in that sort of environment," he said.

At age 11, Sofie is so financially farsighted she is already saving money for the apartment she will rent after college.

"Everybody is going to reach a challenge in their life where they can't ask for help, and they need to be able to do it by themselves, and by our parents making us grow up this way, it's going to help us be able to overcome that more than somebody who just gets stuff," said Sofie.

Sandy Cooper hopes these lessons will fortify her children for the future.

"So I think they'll have the intrinsic pride and motivation to deal with anything that gets thrown their way," she said.

Raising financially independent kids these days may be about teaching an old-fashioned lesson: earn before you spend.



Full Article & Source:
American parents are spending billions on their adult children