How to Have Patience With Elderly Parents

The Caring Generation Show

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CONTACT: Pamela D. Wilson 303-810-1816

Email:   Inquiry_For_Pamela@pameladwilson.com

Golden, Colorado – March 27, 2021

The Caring Generation® How to Have Patience with Elderly Parents

Golden CO- Caregiving expert Pamela D. Wilson hosts The Caring Generation® podcast show for caregivers and aging adults. This coming Wednesday, March 31, 2021, the topic is How to Have Patience with Elderly Parents

Wilson releases a new podcast in The Caring Generation series every Wednesday, sharing tips and conversations about aging, caregiving, and family relationships to help caregiving families plan for what's ahead. The podcasts are available on Wilson's website and all major podcast sites.

How to Have Patience with Elderly Parents

Wilson empathizes with elderly parents who may feel like a burden to adult children caregivers who provide support. Adult children who juggle work, caregiving and family life often express concerns about being impatient with elderly parents. Many caregivers feel guilty about not being able to do enough and balance life responsibilities.

Insights are offered for family caregivers who may not realize the significant changes that elders experience physically, mentally, and emotionally with age and an increasing number of medical diagnoses. Patience in all life experiences is discussed from various perspectives that include daily nuisances, interpersonal relationship challenges, and life-changing events like a chronic disease diagnosis.

Learning patience poses many benefits, including better decision-making about care for parents, taking the initiative to learn new things, and improved stress management. The realization that impatience may improve by investing in time-saving or planning activities can benefit caregivers and care receivers who may experience impatience working together or with the healthcare system.

Interview with Dr. Joan Monin Yale School of Public Health 

Joan Monin is an Associate Professor in the Social and Behavioral Sciences Department at Yale School of Public Health with expertise in research on emotion and relationship processes in caregiving and developing psychosocial interventions for caregivers and older adult care recipients. She joins Wilson to share research about caregiver – care receiver relationships and perceptions about distress and suffering.

Broadly, Monin's research examines how social relationships influence health in older adulthood, emphasizing the needs of family caregivers for older adults with chronic conditions, disability, and dementia. She has had continuous funding from the NIA for more than ten years, with projects examining how gender, stress, emotion, and support-related processes influence cognitive, psychological, and physical health in the context of older adult family caregiving. Monin has published findings in prominent journals (Annals of Behavioral Medicine, Journal of the American Geriatric Society, Health Psychology). 

Wilson works with caregiving organizations and corporations worldwide to educate about the role strain that caregivers experience and how to be proactive to plan ahead for health and aging issues. More about Wilson's online courses for elderly care: How to Get Guardianship of a Parent and Taking Care of Elderly Parents, caregiver support, webinars, and speaking engagements is on her website www.pameladwilson.com. Pamela may also be contacted at 303-810-1816 or through the Contact Me page on her website.

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How to Have Patience With Elderly Parents

Dougherty County Probate Court Judge charged for allegedly threatening county employee

by Kyle Proctor

Dougherty County Probate Judge Leisa Blount / Photo: Dougherty County Sheriff's Office

Dougherty County Probate Judge Leisa Blount is facing two charges after an investigation by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation.

According to the the GBI, they were requested on March 15 to investigate by Dougherty County Sheriff Kevin Sproul following allegations that the 56-year-old Blount threatened a Dougherty County employee.

The GBI says that Blount allegedly made the threat of verbal violence in front of witnesses.

Blount turned herself in to the Dougherty County Jail on March 22 according to mugshots and is out on bond according to Dougherty County Jail officials.

Stay connected to WFXL.com as the story develops.

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Dougherty County Probate Court Judge charged for allegedly threatening county employee

How to Safeguard Your Loved Ones Against Scams

Elderly family members, or those with cognitive impairments, are especially vulnerable to financial abuse.

More and more, investigators are seeing individuals who have worked their whole lives, paid off their home and built up a healthy nest egg only to have one phone call or email impact those decades of hard work.

This sounds like something that would never happen to your family, right? Sadly, things like this happen every single day. Folks like your aging parents and grandparents are at a much higher risk of being scammed or defrauded out of their money.

What are we seeing? Everything from coronavirus stimulus check scams, stolen tax refunds, health care fraud, grandparents scam in which a grandchild is supposedly in deep trouble, government imposters posing as representatives from Medicare or Social Security, paying for a phantom debt with gift cards, pre-paid cards or wire transfer (e.g. utility bills, arrest warrant, IRS, etc.), lottery sweepstakes, online pet purchases, mail, email and phone fraud.

Talking about elder fraud and scams with your loved ones is very important. It's not fun. But, it is a way to show them you care.

Losing money or possessions to scams, fraud, and exploitation can be especially devastating to older adults, who may be not be able to earn back what they’ve lost. Protect your loved ones by talking through these strategies:

• A good way to start is with you own experience of sidestepping a fraudulent call or email, noting that people of all ages are targeted by scammers. Bring attention to technology and how it has opened doors for new kinds of scams 
   
• Remind your family members of what they taught you years ago - don't trust strangers, especially those seeking personal information and money
   
• A good rule of thumb is never give anyone personal information over the phone, email or in the mail. It’s that simple!

• You cannot win a contest/sweepstakes you did not enter - period
• No reputable agency will call asking for personal information or to have a bill paid using gift card

• One of the very best ways to prevent tax identity theft is to file your taxes as early as possible. Encourage - or even help - your older loved ones to file

• Offer to be an extra set of eyes. Consider setting up online access to your family member's bank and credit card accounts. Keep a close eye on insurance claims and medical bills. Doing so will allow you to watch over finances from afar and look for unusual charges - big or small. Work across generations to plan for diminished capacity, while allowing elderly family members to maintain their dignity and independence

• Set up safeguards, such as un-list your family member's phone number, sign up for opt-out lists, sign up for security tools that notify account users of log-in activity, unusual spending, unpaid bills and low balances

• Don't feel ashamed if you have fallen victim to a con, scam or fraud scheme. Financial fraud is more common than you think. But, don't make the situation get worse by letting it go unaddressed. Instead, reach out to a trusted family member and/or law enforcement immediately

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How to Safeguard Your Loved Ones Against Scams

Exploitation, theft charges for Wilmington man who allegedly killed his father

by Allison Ballard

Flynn Thomas Gruidl

As of Wednesday, a Wilmington man who is accused of killing his father is facing two more felony charges. 

Flynn Thomas Gruidl, 45, was served warrants relating to obtaining property by false pretenses and the exploitation of a disabled or elderly adult, according to the New Hanover County Sheriff's Office. 

The warrants allege in May 2020, Gruidl transferred $134,000 from his parents’ account without his mother’s authorization to a joint account that he shared with her and then spent the money.  

In November, Gruidl was arrested and charged with first-degree murder after his father died as a result of blunt force trauma wounds, according to the New Hanover County Sheriff's Office. 

Gruidl remains at the New Hanover County Jail on a $2 million bond. 

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Exploitation, theft charges for Wilmington man who allegedly killed his father

Webb: #FreeBritney movement big issue for Nichelle Nichols and many Americans

By David Webb

© Courtesy of Archangel Films LA (NV)

The #FreeBritney (Spears) movement raised the flag of the dubious issue of conservatorships on Capitol Hill and has the attention of minority members Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) and Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) of the House Judiciary Committee.

Over the past few decades, conservatorships have been exposed as institutions rife with fraud, theft and abuse, all under the aegis of probate courts. Recently the stench of this legally sanctioned enterprise has reached the levels of a massive fish kill. In one instance, a court appointed conservator in Nevada was arrested with the bounty from dozens of pilfered estates, and nearly 30 urns of deceased conservatees housed in a public storage unit. Every day, unsuspecting citizens are taken against their will and denied their basic civil rights

But, what of Nichelle Nichols? The now 88-year-old African American actress and former NASA recruiter, best known as Lt. Uhura from the original “Star Trek” TV show, has become the unwitting pawn in a bitter battle between her estranged son, Kyle Johnson, who has been appointed conservator; and her former talent manager, Gilbert Bell, accused of enriching himself with Nichols’s public appearance fees.

Embroiled in this legal quagmire is Angelique Fawcette, a film industry CEO, producer and actress, who hired Nichols for her recent feature film “Unbelievable!!!!!” The two became close friends, with Nichols referring to Fawcette as “like a daughter” to her. Fawcette was granted legal standing by the court, a status she hoped would benefit Nichols, who suffers from early to mid-stage dementia.

I spoke with Fawcette at length and she stated, “Neither the son nor her former manager has Nichelle’s best interest at heart. Her son was absent from her life for six years. He missed Nichelle’s birthdays, Mother’s Days, Thanksgivings and Christmases. It was heart-breaking to watch.”

Fawcette has even less respect for the former manager and stated further, “Gil was the gatekeeper, fiercely controlling Nichelle’s financial affairs and her person. He allegedly used her money to upgrade the home he lived in on Nichelle’s property, and bought new cars while Nichelle’s house sat in decay.  He even contemplated marrying Nichelle, so that her son would be denied his inheritance.”

This revelation forced Johnson to act. He filed with the California District Court to have a conservator appointed to handle Nichols’s health and finances. Judge Barbara Johnson installed a conservator who was immediately exposed for unethical behavior when her attorney was caught on an audio tape trying to bribe Nichols’s caretaker to leave the property using Nichols’s money.

The court appointed a second conservator and professional fiduciary, B.J. Hawkins, tasked to help Nichols’s son with his mother’s conservatorship. In a later deposition requested by Fawcette, Hawkins stated that Kyle Johnson made “inappropriate personal demands for his mother’s money,” that he wanted Hawkins to work for him against his mother’s best interests and that the son was verbally harsh on multiple occasions, even threatening Hawkins and her female assistant. She stated that, in her professional opinion, Kyle Johnson was not “fit” to be his mother’s conservator given his anger management issues. Barbara Johnson completely ignored this admonition and installed Kyle Johnson as his mother’s conservator, after Fawcette had agreed to rescind her objection to the son’s petition for conservatorship and entered a nondisclosure agreement (NDA) with Kyle Johnson, according to court records.

In May 2019, a CBS-TV affiliate in Atlanta released a shocking abuse tape provided to them by Gilbert Bell. On the recording, an unsupervised Nichols wanders over to the former manager’s home and expresses dismay about Kyle Johnson being installed as conservator against her wishes. She becomes agitated about not being able to go to court and never having seen the judge. A few minutes later Kyle Johnson returns from a short, absent-minded errand and tries to force Nichols to leave with him, triggering several blood-curdling screams from the “Star Trek” icon. Terrified, she shouts at her son “get your hands off of me!”

Fawcette was contacted by news outlets for her reaction. Kyle Johnson’s attorney, Jeffrey Marvan, used the opportunity to falsely claim Fawcette violated their NDA. “I wouldn’t breach the agreement,” maintains Fawcette. “But there’s no document on Earth that will stop me from talking when a crime has been committed.”

Barbara Johnson sided with Kyle Johnson’s attorney and refused to allow further visitations from Fawcette until an evidentiary hearing into the matter of the son’s competency as conservator could be heard. Weeks turned into months as the court delayed the hearing. Marvan proposed allowing Kyle to remove Nichols from her California estate and relocate his mother to rural New Mexico. This motion was granted without the evidentiary hearing, and against the videotaped wishes of Nichols. After not following process, Barbara Johnson also retired from the court. The next judge, Ana Maria Luna, punted the entire matter to the state of New Mexico without further investigation. New Mexico is where Nichols lives today, ripped from the home she loved, surrounded by strangers, and with a conservator son who resides over 30 miles away.

Congress can play a role to rectify this outrageous “legal” practice. Gaetz and Jordan have the flag. What will our representatives in Congress, regardless of party, do next? 

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Webb: #FreeBritney movement big issue for Nichelle Nichols and many Americans

Elkhorn City lawyer indicted for allegedly taking hundreds of thousands from family

By Steve Rogers

Timothy Belcher/Justia

PIKE COUNTY, Ky. (WTVQ) – A Pike County lawyer faces more than 200 years in prison if convicted of 10 counts of theft and tax evasion.

Timothy Belcher, of Elkhorn City, was indicted (belcher federal indict) Thursday by a federal grand jury on seven counts of fraud and three of filing false tax returns in connection with the theft of hundreds of thousands of dollars that should have gone to the heirs of a Pike County man killed in an accident two decades ago.

If convicted, Belcher faces 30 years on each of the seven fraud counts and three years on each tax fraud cases which stems from his failure to report the stolen money on his tax returns in 2013, 2014, and 2016, according to the indictments.

The charges are similar to state charges filed against Belcher in Pike County almost two years ago.

The family of Samuel Johnson hired Belcher, who at one time was city attorney for the city of Elkhorn City, following Johnson’s death in 2001. According to the indictment, Belcher obtained a large settlement for the family with half going to Johnson’s widow and the other half to be divided among Johnson’s children once it was determined whether he had two or three children.

That was in 2004.

Belcher put the money in an escrow account that contained as much as $817,155 on Dec. 31, 2007, court records claim. By the time the family had become frustrated and hired other attorneys to get to the bottom of what happened to the money, the account was down to $389 on Dec. 31, 2018.

When confronted in 2019 about the money, Belcher admitted he’d diverted it to his own use over the years, spending it on everything from mortgage payments to his cell phone bills, according to the indictment.

After he was indicted in Pike County, the state Supreme Court suspended Belcher’s license, according to state judicial records.

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Elkhorn City lawyer indicted for allegedly taking hundreds of thousands from family

Massive international fraud tricked seniors into sending money to criminals in Baltimore, federal indictment says

By Justin Fenton

A 91-year-old living on the Puget Sound in Washington got an urgent call in January 2019: His grandson was a passenger in a vehicle stopped in Baltimore with a large amount of cocaine, and he was being held on federal drug charges.

He needed $13,000 in cash for bail, urgently, the caller said, which the worried grandparent agreed to send overnight. He later sent another $9,000 so his grandson could retain an attorney.

But the call had come from Canada, with the money directed to a vacant home in Baltimore and intercepted by people working as part of a sophisticated network throughout North America to bilk seniors. Investigators say at least 70 victims lost a total of $1.5 million.

Federal authorities in Baltimore announced Friday that they have indicted three alleged members of the scheme on conspiracy to commit mail fraud. Additional charges were brought in federal court in Indiana, while investigators in Canada said they executed 17 search warrants in the Montreal area and met with 35 people connected to the fraud.

“Any parent or grandparent can relate to the fear and the urgency to act that these victims were experiencing when they received those phone calls,” said Acting U.S. Attorney Jonathan F. Lenzner, calling the scheme “both ruthless and well-organized.”

FBI Supervisory Special Agent Keith Custer said the outfit made as many as 1,000 to 1,200 calls a day, the vast majority fruitless. But when they snagged a victim, they continued to collect more cash, and convinced the victims not to mention the situation due to a “gag order” requiring secrecy.

“There were a number of them working in conjunction, each playing different roles as police officer or lawyer, or even (a) member of the family,” Custer said. “They were very well-rehearsed. They knew exactly which levers to pull.”

A Baltimore woman, Amaya English, 21, was among those charged in U.S. District Court in Maryland. Authorities said she tracked packages of cash over the Internet and relayed their delivery status to other conspirators.

Also charged is Medard Ulysse, 37, of Miami, and Eghosasere Avboraye-Igbinedion, 26, of Mirarmar, Fla. Two other Florida men were charged previously and pleaded guilty last fall — admitting they defrauded 28 elderly victims of more than $939,000.

Prosecutors said Ulysse recruited people in Florida, with promises of travel and cash payments, to retrieve packages sent by elderly victims. The conspirators identified locations where no one would be present to receive a package.

In the calls, the conspirators claimed they were calling on behalf of a relative who needed cash for bail money, legal fees or other expenses. In one case, an 89-year-old Michigan woman was called by someone purporting to be “Officer Booth,” who said her grandson had been in a car crash and that drugs were found. She sent $8,000, and eventually $30,000.

Jennifer C. Boone, the Special Agent in Charge of the FBI’s Baltimore Field Office, said seniors and others should know that government agents working in an official capacity should not ask for money urgently and secretively, through cash, prepaid cards or gift cards.

“Seniors should also protect their personal information and not divulge it over the phone, through mail or on internet unless they initiated the contact,” Boone said. “They should talk over investments with a trusted friend, family member or financial advisor, and resist the urge to act quickly or secretly, which are frequent tactics used by scammers.”

Victims were encouraged to file a complaint online with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center or by calling 1-800-225-5324. Elder fraud complaints can be filed with the FTC online or at 877-FTC-HELP.

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Massive international fraud tricked seniors into sending money to criminals in Baltimore, federal indictment says

Britney Spears' attorney files petition to remove her father from overseeing her medical decisions

By Chloe Melas

(CNN)Britney Spears' attorney is requesting the judge overseeing her court ordered conservatorship, remove her father, Jamie Spears, as the conservator of her person, and permanently replace him with Jodi Montgomery.

The request came in the form of a petition Samuel D. Ingham III filed in Los Angeles Superior Court Tuesday evening. 

 

Jamie Spears has been the conservator of both her person and estate since 2008. Montgomery has served as the singer's temporary conservator ever since the elder Spears stepped aside due to health issues in September 2019. 

 

In the filing, obtained by CNN, Ingham cites an order filed on October 10, 2014 that determined Britney Spears had an "incapacity to consent to any form of medical treatment" as the reason why Montgomery should take over full conservatorship. 

 

CNN reached out to Ingham on Wednesday asking him to elaborate on why the singer is unable to make medical decisions. Ingham stated that he "cannot comment on a pending case."

 

Jamie Spears' attorney Vivian Lee Thoreen had "no comment."

 

The filing asks that along with over seeing Spears' medical decisions, that Montgomery be able to "restrict and limit visitors by any means," except from meeting with Ingham. It also asks that Montgomery be able to "retain caretakers" and "security guards" for Spears. 

 

The singer's father was first court-appointed as conservator of his daughter's estate, along with attorney Andrew Wallet, in 2008, following a series of personal issues that played out publicly for the singer. For most of that period, he also oversaw her health and medical decisions. Jamie Spears became the sole conservator of the singer's $60 million estate in 2019, following Wallet's resignation.

 

Ingham first filed to officially remove Jamie Spears as conservator last August. In November the judge ruled that Spears stay on as co-conservator of the estate but appointed Bessemer Trust to serve as co-conservator.

 

CNN has reached out to Bessemer Trust for comment. 

 

Jamie Spears told CNN in December he has not spoken to his daughter since Ingham's filing last summer.

 

"I love my daughter and I miss her very much," he said at the time. "When a family member needs special care and protection, families need to step up, as I have done for the last 12-plus years, to safeguard, protect and continue to love Britney unconditionally. I have and will continue to provide unwavering love and fierce protection against those with self-serving interests and those who seek to harm her or my family."

 

Last month, Thoreen told CNN that Jamie Spears wishes the conservatorship could come to an end.

"[Jamie] would love nothing more than to see Britney not need a conservatorship," Thoreen said. "Whether or not there is an end to the conservatorship really depends on Britney. If she wants to end her conservatorship, she can file a petition to end it."

 

Interest in the singer's conservatorship has heightened following the New York Times documentary, "Framing Britney Spears," which debuted in February. Celebrities and supporters have advocated for Spears on social media with the hashtag #FreeBritney.

 

CNN reported last month that Britney Spears quarantined with her father, mother and siblings at the family home in Louisiana at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. CNN obtained videos of the family from their two weeks together. In them, the singer is seen riding bikes and playing in the yard alongside her father, mother Lynne Spears, sister Jamie Lynn Spears, and her nieces.

 

According to court documents obtained by CNN in December, Ingham said Britney would not perform again as long as her father remained in control of her fortune.

 

Although Britney has not publicly commented on the ongoing conservatorship battle, she did respond to recent speculation about whether she plans to perform again.

 

"I'll always love being on stage," she wrote on Instagram in February. "But I am taking the time to learn and be a normal person ..... I love simply enjoying the basics of every day life !!!! Each person has their story and their take on other people's stories !!!! We all have so many different bright beautiful lives. Remember, no matter what we think we know about a person's life it is nothing compared to the actual person living behind the lens."

 

The next court hearing regarding the conservatorship is scheduled for April 27.

 

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Britney Spears' attorney files petition to remove her father from overseeing her medical decisions

Disbarred Manhasset attorney sentenced in stolen funds scheme

By: Adina Genn

A disbarred attorney was sentenced for using stolen funds to pay restitution in an earlier case, the Nassau County District Attorney’s office said Wednesday.

Alfred DiGirolomo, Jr., of Manhasset, was sentenced to 1-1/3 years to four years in prison for stealing $675,000 from clients and using a portion of the stolen money to pay restitution on an unrelated NCDA case in which he pleaded guilty in April 2019 to stealing nearly $230,000.

DiGirolomo pleaded guilty in December to three counts of grand larceny to stealing the $675,000. He had pleaded guilty for stealing the $230,000 in 2019.

When he was sentenced on Monday, he was ordered to pay restitution for $680,000.

“Alfred DiGirolomo swindled multiple clients to pay for country club dues and cigars, and in one case, stole from one client to repay another victim,” District Attorney Madline Singas said in a statement.

DiGirolomo’s attorney, Robert Del Col, told Newsday that his client made “poor decisions” and  got “tangled up with some rather disreputable clients.”

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Disbarred Manhasset attorney sentenced in stolen funds scheme