When her husband died suddenly and unexpectedly from a massive
heart attack,
“Mary” – who asked that her real name not be used due to the sensitive
nature of her story – was devastated and began spiraling downward.
He was only in his late 60s and in relatively good health, she recalls. Mary fell into a severe
depression
after his passing. “I withdrew. I isolated myself,” says Mary, now 70,
who lives in Playa del Rey, California. In addition to her abject
despair, she believes the
antidepressants she was taking contributed to suicidal thoughts. She attempted suicide – overdosing on powerful
painkillers she had for treating her
arthritis, she says. She was hospitalized in 2015 and admitted into an inpatient rehab facility to recover.
Mary had previously appointed her daughter as
trustee under a family trust and agent under powers of attorney to
manage her finances if she was ever unable to do so herself. And it was
during this time that – due to Mary’s psychiatric issues – her
daughter's authority under the POA and trust became effective. Mary had
been financially supporting her daughter, who was living in Mary’s home
along with her daughter’s son. But instead of acting in her mother’s
best interests, “she ran up $120,000 in credit card debt, which I only
recently found out about,” Mary says – money spent on everything from
online shopping to food delivery. She purchased a new car in her
mother’s name, a new refrigerator and three new computers, all with her
mother’s money and without permission; she rented out her mother’s
bedroom to bring in more income for herself; and she failed to pay
property taxes on Mary’s home.
According to research funded by the U.S. Justice Department, about 1 in
20 older adults report being financially abused by a family member in
the year prior. Though definitions vary,
elder financial abuse is generally considered to be
financial exploitation,
such as stealing money or taking over assets without permission, of an
older adult – 60 or 65 and older – by a family member, caregiver or
another trusted person, like a financial advisor. By one estimate from
the San Francisco-based financial services firm True Link Financial,
seniors lose nearly $36.5 billion to financial abuse annually. A
previous widely cited estimate from MetLife put the figure at less than
one-tenth of that – still a high loss, at $2.9 billion; but many experts
say that’s most certainly a gross underestimate, given how very few
financial exploitation cases ever see the light of day. “That’s based on
only cases that got media coverage, which must be some tiny fraction of
1 percent of all elder abuse cases,” says Kathleen Quinn, a senior
advisor and past director of National Adult Protective Services
Association.
More Than Money
Money lost is only part of the profound price
paid by seniors who are financially exploited. Quinn says that some
people lose their homes, and notes – based on research of the issue in
Utah – an estimated 9 percent, or nearly 1 in 10, of those who are
financially exploited go on
Medicaid as a direct result.
Because the perpetrator is typically a family
member or caregiver, experts say being financially exploited can deeply
undermine a person’s ability to trust others, and lead them to withdraw
and become
isolated,
which can make a person more vulnerable to re-victimization. Studies
show financial abuse can increase hopelessness and risk for depression
and raise
suicide risk.
“This is obviously about more than just money,” says Sarah Barnard, a
social worker who manages an elder abuse prevention program at WISE
& Healthy Aging, a nonprofit social services organization in Santa
Monica, California. Going from a place of stable financial footing to no
longer having money needed for daily expenses can be “psychologically
devastating,” Quinn says.
After Mary’s condition stabilized, she was transferred to an
assisted living facility.
“I really wanted to come home, but my daughter said I couldn’t come
home,” she says. So instead she languished for six months at the
facility, paying $2,000 a month to be there, before finally coming home.
Eventually, Mary notes that her psychiatrist called Adult Protective
Services, who reported the issue to local law enforcement. Mary also
enlisted Bet Tzedek Legal Services in Los Angeles – which provides legal
assistance and advice in
elder abuse cases, including financial abuse – to revoke her daughter’s power of attorney and regain control of her finances.
That’s proved an involved affair, as her
daughter had been withholding her driver’s license, medical insurance
cards, credit and debit cards and other money, says Dominique
Sanz-David, a staff attorney at Bet Tzedek. Instead, Mary’s daughter
generally just used Mary’s money for her own benefit, Sanz-David says.
Not having access to her own financial means or
identification did more than rob Mary of money. “I was basically a
faceless person,” she says. “She had me totally isolated.” Mary notes
that she couldn’t even talk to her doctor without her daughter’s
permission. The ordeal has not only taxed her financially, but it’s
taken a toll on her mentally. “I was depressed,” Mary says. “I was
hopeless.”
Outside Help
Experts say the scenario Mary found herself in
is a familiar one, where an adult family member exploits a supportive
relationship, such as when the perpetrator is already living in the
home. Often those who are financially abused have recently lost a spouse
and may otherwise be alone.
That makes it incredibly important – while also
often being exceedingly difficult – for the individual experiencing the
financial abuse to seek outside help. That includes contacting Adult
Protective Services and law enforcement to put pressure on the
perpetrator to cease the abuse. Though it can be difficult in many cases
to recoup money lost – since frequently it’s spent and perpetrators
commonly have limited monies of their own – experts still often advise
filing a civil lawsuit as well.
Mary says Sanz-David has been instrumental in
helping her regain control of her finances, while huge hurdles remain.
Mary has worked with a
debt consolidation
attorney to begin paying down a lower negotiated amount on the credit
card debt. She’s looking to return to the workforce – a difficult
prospect, given her age, she says. And she’s planning to sell her house
when she’s able and relocate, possibly out of state, she says, so that
her property tax burden is lower. It’s all together a monumental
undertaking.
It remains unclear what repercussions –
including any criminal charges – her daughter will ultimately face as a
result of Adult Protective Services reporting the issue to local law
enforcement. Experts say victims – particularly older parents – are
often unwilling to take action, like contacting law enforcement, against
family members who’ve taken advantage of them.
Similarly torn, Mary still allows her daughter
to live with her. Sanz-David advised Mary to get her daughter out the
home, and told her she could get a restraining order against her because
of the financial abuse. She also advised her to take civil action. But
Mary has declined to do so. “Mothers and grandmothers do not want to
hurt their children and grandchildren even at their own expense,”
Sanz-David says; she adds that she’s advised Mary to contact her if she
changes her mind.
A reluctance to take action – as well as
shame and embarrassment
of having been exploited – is frequently used against victims of
financial abuse by those perpetrating the abuse, experts say, to not
only conceal it, but to re-victimize.
Mary, for one, says she is firmly back in
control of her finances – if still struggling mightily to pay for damage
done by her daughter. “She doesn’t have the durable power of attorney,
so she can’t commit any financial obligation to me without my
permission,” Mary says, while acknowledging that some patterns continue.
“She’s told me that she’s sorry, and she’s going
to get a job, but she isn’t looking for a job. So I’m looking for a job
– a part-time or a full-time job to help pay the property taxes,” she
says. As for not putting distance between herself and her daughter, she
sees no choice in the matter. “She’s my daughter, and I do have
unconditional love for her. She has nowhere to go. She has no income …
she would be homeless,” Mary says; in which case, she adds, her daughter
wouldn’t be able to take care of her 10-year-old son. “So I wouldn’t do
that.”
But even though Mary has opted not to take legal action against her
daughter as advised, she echoes elder abuse experts in emphasizing that
outside intervention is absolutely critical to combat financial
exploitation – even if it’s perpetrated by next of kin. “If you don’t,
it just becomes a quagmire. It’s like one of the sinkholes in Los
Angeles,” she says. “It just appears out of nowhere, and suddenly you’re
in the sink hole, and you feel hopeless – you feel like there’s no way
out.
