‘Elder orphans,’ without kids or spouses, face old age alone.

It was a memorable place to have an “aha” moment about aging.

Peter Sperry had taken his 82-year-old father, who’d had a stroke and used a wheelchair, to Disney World. Just after they’d made their way through the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, nature called. Sperry took his father to the bathroom where, with difficulty, he changed the older man’s diaper.

“It came to me then: There isn’t going to be anyone to do this for me when I’m his age, and I needed to plan ahead,” said Sperry, now 61, recalling the experience several years ago.

Sperry never married, has no children and lives alone.

Like other “elder orphans” (older people without a spouse or children on whom they can depend) and “solo agers” (older adults without children, living alone), he’s expecting to move through later life without the safety net of a spouse, a son or a daughter who will step up to provide practical, physical and emotional support over time.

About 22 percent of older adults in the United States fall into this category or are at risk of doing so in the future, according to a 2016 study.

“This is an often overlooked, poorly understood group that needs more attention from the medical community,” said Maria Torroella Carney, the study’s lead author and chief of geriatric and palliative medicine at Northwell Health in New York. It’s also an especially vulnerable group, according to a recently released survey of 500 people who belong to the Elder Orphan Facebook Group, with 8,500 members.

Notably, 70 percent of survey respondents said they hadn’t identified a caregiver who would help if they became ill or disabled, while 35 percent said they didn’t have “friends or family to help them cope with life’s challenges.”

“What strikes me is how many of these elder orphans are woefully unprepared for aging,” said Carney, who reviewed the survey at my request.

Financial insecurity and health concerns are common among the survey respondents: a non-random sample consisting mostly of women in their 60s and 70s, most of them divorced or widowed and college-educated.

One-quarter of the group said they feared losing their housing; 23 percent reported not having enough money to meet basic needs at least once over the past year; 31 percent said they weren’t secure about their financial future. Some 40 percent of people admitted to depression; 37 percent to anxiety. More than half (52 percent) confessed to being lonely.

Carol Marak, 67, who runs the Facebook group, understands members’ insecurities better than ever since suffering an accident several weeks ago. She cut her finger badly on a meat grinder while making chicken salad for dinner guests. Divorced and childless, Marak lives alone in an apartment tower in Dallas. She walked down the hall and asked neighbors — a married couple — to take her to the emergency room.

“I freaked out — and this wasn’t even that big of a deal,” Marak said. “Imagine people like me who break a hip and have a long period of disability and recovery. What are they supposed to do?”

Sperry has thought a lot about who could be his caregiver down that road in a circumstance like that. No one fits the bill.

“It’s not like I don’t have family or friends: It’s just that the people who you can count on have to be specific types of family and friends,” he said. “Your sister or brother, they may be willing to help but not able to if they’re old themselves. Your nieces and nephews, they may be able, but they probably are not going to be willing.”

The solution Sperry thinks might work: moving to a continuing care retirement community with different levels of care when he begins to become less independent. That’s an expensive proposition — entry fees range from about $100,000 to $400,000 and monthly fees from about $2,000 to $4,000. Sperry, a longtime government employee, can afford it, but many people aging alone cannot.

Planning for challenges that can arise with advancing age is essential for people who go it alone, advised Sara Zeff Geber, a retirement coach and author of “Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers: A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Childless Adults.”

A good way to start is to think about things that adult children do for older parents and consider how you’re going to do all of that yourself or with outside assistance, she said.

In her book, Geber lists the responsibilities that adult children frequently take on: They serve as caregivers, help older parents figure out where to live, provide emotional and practical support, assist with financial issues such as managing money, and agree to serve as health-care or legal decision-makers when a parent becomes incapacitated.

Also, older parents often rely on adult children for regular social contact and a sense of connectedness.

Planning for challenges that can arise with advancing age is essential for people who go it alone, advised Sara Zeff Geber, a retirement coach and author of “Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers: A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Childless Adults.”

A good way to start is to think about things that adult children do for older parents and consider how you’re going to do all of that yourself or with outside assistance, she said.

In her book, Geber lists the responsibilities that adult children frequently take on: They serve as caregivers, help older parents figure out where to live, provide emotional and practical support, assist with financial issues such as managing money, and agree to serve as health-care or legal decision-makers when a parent becomes incapacitated.

Also, older parents often rely on adult children for regular social contact and a sense of connectedness.

In New York, Wendl Kornfeld, 69, began running year-long workshops for small groups of solo agers four years ago. Though married, she and her 80-year-old husband consider themselves future solo agers living together. “We figured out a long time ago one of us was going to survive the other,” she said.

At those gatherings, Kornfeld asked people to jettison denial about aging and imagine the absolute worst things that might happen to them, physically and socially. Then, people talked about how they might prepare for those eventualities.

“The whole purpose of these get-togethers was to be fearless, face issues head-on and not keep our heads in the sand,” Kornfeld said. “Then, we can plan for what might happen, stop worrying and start enjoying the best years of our lives.”

Kornfeld took her program to New York City’s Temple Emanu-El three years ago and is working with several synagogues and churches interested in launching similar initiatives. Meanwhile, elder orphans have begun meeting in-person in other cities, including Chicago; Dallas; Portland, Ore.; San Diego; and Seattle, after getting to know one another virtually on the Elder Orphan Facebook Group.

Full Article & Source:
‘Elder orphans,’ without kids or spouses, face old age alone.

‘Elder orphans,’ without kids or spouses, face old age alone.

It was a memorable place to have an “aha” moment about aging.

Peter Sperry had taken his 82-year-old father, who’d had a stroke and used a wheelchair, to Disney World. Just after they’d made their way through the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, nature called. Sperry took his father to the bathroom where, with difficulty, he changed the older man’s diaper.

“It came to me then: There isn’t going to be anyone to do this for me when I’m his age, and I needed to plan ahead,” said Sperry, now 61, recalling the experience several years ago.

Sperry never married, has no children and lives alone.

Like other “elder orphans” (older people without a spouse or children on whom they can depend) and “solo agers” (older adults without children, living alone), he’s expecting to move through later life without the safety net of a spouse, a son or a daughter who will step up to provide practical, physical and emotional support over time.

About 22 percent of older adults in the United States fall into this category or are at risk of doing so in the future, according to a 2016 study.

“This is an often overlooked, poorly understood group that needs more attention from the medical community,” said Maria Torroella Carney, the study’s lead author and chief of geriatric and palliative medicine at Northwell Health in New York. It’s also an especially vulnerable group, according to a recently released survey of 500 people who belong to the Elder Orphan Facebook Group, with 8,500 members.

Notably, 70 percent of survey respondents said they hadn’t identified a caregiver who would help if they became ill or disabled, while 35 percent said they didn’t have “friends or family to help them cope with life’s challenges.”

“What strikes me is how many of these elder orphans are woefully unprepared for aging,” said Carney, who reviewed the survey at my request.

Financial insecurity and health concerns are common among the survey respondents: a non-random sample consisting mostly of women in their 60s and 70s, most of them divorced or widowed and college-educated.

One-quarter of the group said they feared losing their housing; 23 percent reported not having enough money to meet basic needs at least once over the past year; 31 percent said they weren’t secure about their financial future. Some 40 percent of people admitted to depression; 37 percent to anxiety. More than half (52 percent) confessed to being lonely.

Carol Marak, 67, who runs the Facebook group, understands members’ insecurities better than ever since suffering an accident several weeks ago. She cut her finger badly on a meat grinder while making chicken salad for dinner guests. Divorced and childless, Marak lives alone in an apartment tower in Dallas. She walked down the hall and asked neighbors — a married couple — to take her to the emergency room.

“I freaked out — and this wasn’t even that big of a deal,” Marak said. “Imagine people like me who break a hip and have a long period of disability and recovery. What are they supposed to do?”

Sperry has thought a lot about who could be his caregiver down that road in a circumstance like that. No one fits the bill.

“It’s not like I don’t have family or friends: It’s just that the people who you can count on have to be specific types of family and friends,” he said. “Your sister or brother, they may be willing to help but not able to if they’re old themselves. Your nieces and nephews, they may be able, but they probably are not going to be willing.”

The solution Sperry thinks might work: moving to a continuing care retirement community with different levels of care when he begins to become less independent. That’s an expensive proposition — entry fees range from about $100,000 to $400,000 and monthly fees from about $2,000 to $4,000. Sperry, a longtime government employee, can afford it, but many people aging alone cannot.

Planning for challenges that can arise with advancing age is essential for people who go it alone, advised Sara Zeff Geber, a retirement coach and author of “Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers: A Retirement and Aging Roadmap for Single and Childless Adults.”

A good way to start is to think about things that adult children do for older parents and consider how you’re going to do all of that yourself or with outside assistance, she said.

In her book, Geber lists the responsibilities that adult children frequently take on: They serve as caregivers, help older parents figure out where to live, provide emotional and practical support, assist with financial issues such as managing money, and agree to serve as health-care or legal decision-makers when a parent becomes incapacitated.

Also, older parents often rely on adult children for regular social contact and a sense of connectedness.

In New York, Wendl Kornfeld, 69, began running year-long workshops for small groups of solo agers four years ago. Though married, she and her 80-year-old husband consider themselves future solo agers living together. “We figured out a long time ago one of us was going to survive the other,” she said.

At those gatherings, Kornfeld asked people to jettison denial about aging and imagine the absolute worst things that might happen to them, physically and socially. Then, people talked about how they might prepare for those eventualities.

“The whole purpose of these get-togethers was to be fearless, face issues head-on and not keep our heads in the sand,” Kornfeld said. “Then, we can plan for what might happen, stop worrying and start enjoying the best years of our lives.”

Kornfeld took her program to New York City’s Temple Emanu-El three years ago and is working with several synagogues and churches interested in launching similar initiatives. Meanwhile, elder orphans have begun meeting in-person in other cities, including Chicago; Dallas; Portland, Ore.; San Diego; and Seattle, after getting to know one another virtually on the Elder Orphan Facebook Group.

Full Article & Source:
‘Elder orphans,’ without kids or spouses, face old age alone.

‘Elder Orphans’ Have a Harder Time Aging in Place

By Carol Marak

Thriving in a place that’s safe and comfortable, surrounded by cozy memories, is a natural desire of older adults. We treasure independence and want a space to call our own, and we prefer that place to reflect the person we’ve become. We understand that aging bids compromise, and once 65 hits, the changes bring reminders that we’re no longer the same. We don’t move as quickly, we don’t multitask as well, nor do we easily adapt. Those are the simple cues. As we age, the physical and mental challenges delivered through loss, immobility and dependence are the ones that put us at higher risks.

Who Is an Elder Orphan?

However, the effects of aging land harder on an “elder orphan,” because the worry and concern of “what will become of me if I can’t care for myself?” triples when no one is around. An elder orphan has no adult children, spouse or companion to rely on for company, assistance or input. About 29 percent (13.3 million) of noninstitutionalized older persons live alone. The majority of those are women (9.2 million, vs. 4.1 million men).

The stresses of living alone will likely worsen for the boomers as a group since we have fewer children, more childless marriages and more divorces compared to earlier generations.

I am an elder orphan — on my own to decide where, and how, I age.

I am alone with my dog and don't know where to turn. I fear becoming homeless, and I am scared to death.

— member of Elder Orphan Facebook group

And it’s the reason I launched the Elder Orphan Facebook group. In just a few months, it’s grown to over 1,100 members. Each person joined for different reasons, but primarily to find community, connection and support — my particular motives for starting the group. Here, we talk about what’s on our minds and state our doubts.

Common Topics for Elder Orphans

These are a few topics that come up regularly among the members:

Legal and care issues: “My husband and I are over 70, and by every measure we are and will continue to be elder orphans. We have no children and absolutely no family or living friends who can attend to our financial affairs and to care for us when we need it. We have read articles on the topics, but they end with ‘find a trusted friend or family member to oversee your affairs.’ We have neither. So, can anyone recommend a group or entity who could handle our predicament? We would like to get a mechanism in place so that we feel secure.”

Affordable housing: “I am 69, and dependent solely on Social Security. I am losing my home after 30 years. I have a mobile home which is my haven, but I can no longer afford it. I have tried all government agencies and found no one who handles mobile home loans. I am alone with my dog and don’t know where to turn. I fear becoming homeless, and I am scared to death. Has anyone here ever been through a foreclosure? How did you handle it and what did you do, step by step? I do not want to go into a senior high-rise and was looking into co-housing. I want to go into some independent living but don’t know where to start or what to do. I hope someone could help me.”

Transportation: “I truly experienced the ‘elder orphan’ dilemma during the recent surgery. I had to use a voluntary car service to get to the hospital only to find out the ride was not able to bring me home. I didn’t tolerate the surgery as well as had been anticipated, so I ended up being admitted because there wasn’t anyone to care for me overnight.”

I’m grateful for the group members and happy to report that concerns like these get handled quickly with useful advice and tips. However, since aging comes with sets of unique happenstances, it’s clear that we need services and supports at the local level to age successfully.

Local City Strategies

We need city leaders and policymakers across the country to develop solutions to improve older people’s lives in communities. With the graying of America, entrepreneurs and business leaders could benefit by seeking opportunities prompted by this massive longevity economy. It’s the local level that holds answers for the elder orphans and the aging populace.

The Milken Institute is answering that call. They work with mayors’ offices to help build awareness of what’s needed for residents to age successfully. Read about the community programs that some cities have taken on to encourage healthy aging in Milken’s 2017 Best Cities for Successful Aging.

We all want positive results when growing older. We want it for ourselves, and we want it for our parents and grandparents. I am thrilled to see an organization dedicating efforts on issues and desires that mirror the needs of those who age alone:

• To live in places that are safe, affordable and comfortable
• To be healthy and happy
• To have financial security and be part of a healthy economy
• To have living arrangements that suit our needs
• To have mobility and access to convenient transportation systems
• To receive respect for our wisdom and experience
• To be physically, intellectually and culturally enriched, and connected to families, friends and communities

The Milken initiative is not about the best, or least expensive, place to retire. Instead, they work with local leaders to enhance communities so the aging population can thrive — the same desires I hear daily in the group.

But there’s much more needed to instigate dialogue among thought leaders, decision-makers and stakeholders. The demand for age-friendly communities has far surpassed the current solutions.

Giving Credit to Well-Deserving Cities

The three cities that rank highest in Milken’s criteria:

• Provo, Utah
• Madison, Wis.
• Durham-Chapel Hill, N.C.

Provo ranked high in healthy living, a vibrant economy and safe neighborhoods, but lower on affordability and health and wellness. Madison ranked second in health care and third in community engagement, but fell behind on employment and general livability. The Durham-Chapel Hill metro ranked No. 1 in health care and No. 11 in education, but trailed at No. 54 in transportation and convenience and No. 81 in general livability.

Three small metros were also recognized for their leadership: Iowa City, Iowa; Manhattan, Kansas; and Ames, Iowa.

I encourage local leaders to become involved in programs like the “Best Cities for Successful Aging.” To date, 216 mayors, representing all 50 states, have taken the pledge to participate with the Milken Institute. And it’s critical that they do because too many older adults live in the grips of isolation, unaffordable housing, unhealthy situations and immobility.

Here’s how I know: the research from the city data across the country shows that thousands of older adults receive nominal Social Security benefits and live on average incomes. However, for those who are lucky enough to own a home, many still have mortgages. For older adults who rent, in some cities, close to half don’t own a vehicle, and fewer have jobs. The data illustrates the need for local services and more attention from policymakers and thought leaders.

Help for Aging in Place

If cities could provide the much-needed services like public transportation and even simple things like sidewalks, then people could get up and move around. Maybe then, chronic diseases would decrease and we’d have few older adults who become isolated and lonely.

I feel confident that organizations like the Milken Institute will hold city officials’ feet to the fire so older Americans can truly age successfully at home.

For those of you aging alone and in need of support, please consider joining the Elder Orphan Facebook group. It is a closed group; your privacy will be respected.

 

Full Article & Source:

‘Elder Orphans’ Have a Harder Time Aging in Place

Needs of 'Elder Orphans' a Growing Concern in Aging Population

"Elder orphan" is a term used by medical professionals to describe individuals living alone with little to no support system. In a research article published in Current Gerontology and Geriatrics Research, in July 2016, "Elder Orphans Hiding in Plain Sight: A Growing Vulnerable Population," Maria T. Carney, M.D., and her colleagues, sought to help clinicians identify adults with multiple chronic diseases who are aging alone and are geographically distant from family or friends. Identifying these individuals might well increase the availability of services for this population as a whole.

One way that HeathCentral can assist is to bring awareness of this issue to the general public. We interviewed, by email, Carol Marak, an activist in the field of elder orphans, to provide us with some insights. Marak earned a Fundamentals of Gerontology Certificate from the USC Davis School of Gerontology and advocates on behalf of older adults and family caregivers. She is the editor at seniorcare.com and launched a Facebook group for people over 55 who age alone.

HealthCentral (HC): Carol, can you tell us more about the size of this population of elders?

Carol Marak: Certainly! According to the U.S. Census, on average, 28 percent of the people over the age of 65 live alone. The number continues to increase. According to the 2012 Census, 19 percent of women aged 40-44 have no children, as compared to about 10 percent in 1980, and one-third of the people between 45 and 63 are single —  a 50 percent increase from 1980. Seniorcare.com collated the U.S. Census data for 8,000 cities. The proportion living alone increases with advanced age. Among women aged 75 and over, for example, almost half (46 percent) live alone.

HC: Many elders need more services than younger people, but for elders with families their loved ones can often step in to fill some gaps. What are the most pressing needs for elder orphans who have no families to help them?

CM: They need affordable housing, public transportation, accessibility to medical facilities, and social connectedness.

HC: How can individual people assist this segment of our aging population?

CM: The general population needs to recognize that people aging and living alone do exist. Dr. Carney says it well when she says, "elder orphans, hiding in plain sight."

We are your neighbors, church members, and community residents. Please open your lives to those who age alone. Providers like hospitals, health care providers, city officials, and local and state government agencies need to identify the needs of the population and to identify programs and resources that meet these needs.

HC: Are there resources already available to help elder orphans?

CM: Yes. Before retiring I worked as an Information and Referral Specialist with the Area Agency on Aging. I also volunteered for 2-1-1. Every state has an Elder Helpline and 2-1-1 is a nationwide phone number. Both have a large database of resources: Food, housing, transportation, and home repair services can be found, but so much more is needed.

HC: Your Facebook group seems successful. Is peer support helping people cope with their situation?

CM: Yes. I think we can help each other by sharing our stories and offering support and encouragement. Hearing how other people handle these challenges can be useful and inspiring, but they also help by sharing information on resources. Although resources vary by location, knowing about the housing options, transportation, legal aid, food banks and other resources in one area can be valuable information for all. Knowing what options are available and where to find them can make a difference in quality of life.

I don't think the definition "orphan" excludes those with some means of getting basic needs met. I think it includes anyone who doesn't have a support system to help them age or get their needs met, such as during a medical episode. Money can't buy everything, including a ride home from a medical procedure or even a visitor to the hospital or someone to shop for groceries.

HC: I agree that these needs aren’t unique to those elders who have no support system at all. Many elders may have family members, but they live far apart or might not get along. Also, we live in a time when it's common for both spouses to work so there’s often no one available to help on a routine basis, even if there are adult children nearby.

Thank you so much for sharing information with us, Carol. Elder orphans and, indeed, all elders need support. Your work is one important part of bringing about that awareness.

Full Article & Source:
Needs of 'Elder Orphans' a Growing Concern in Aging Population

Elder orphans: Childless, unmarried baby boomers warned to prepare for future

A new study is raising awareness about the problem of "elder orphans" -- seniors who have no children, spouse or any other family member to care for them as they age.

The research comes on the heels of an incident earlier this week in North Carolina in which an 81-year-old cancer patient with no caregiver called 911 to ask someone to buy him some food.

Dr. Maria Torroella Carney, the chief of geriatric and palliative medicine at North Shore-LIJ Health System, recently completed a case study and literature review that she will be presenting to The American Geriatrics Society's Annual Scientific Meeting this weekend.

She says that the problem of elder orphans is growing.

"It seems that, with increasing longevity and the trend toward having fewer children and families being fragmented, that this risk of aging alone is increasing," she told CTV's Canada AM from New York.

In Canada and the U.S., the number of seniors is expected to grow dramatically over the next 10 to 15 years. Statistics Canada says the proportion of seniors in Canada could rise from 15 per cent in 2011 to 23 per cent by 2031.

Carney's study found that nearly one-quarter of Americans over 65 are currently at risk of becoming elder orphans. That proportion could grow. U.S. census data show that one-third of Americans currently between the ages of 45 to 63 are single -- a 50 per cent increase from 1980.

Although the number of elder orphans is likely rising, very little research has been done on these seniors and the issues they're facing.

"The first challenge is one of awareness that this is a vulnerable population," Carney said.

As well, there is little research on how these seniors will affect society and the medical system in the years to come. Hospital social workers and geriatricians already see elder orphans in their work every week, but there are few guidelines about how to help them long term.

"It's a societal problem we all have to address and we are hoping to draw attention to it," she said.

Not only do aging seniors living alone struggle with isolation and loneliness, they often grapple with growing health problems, says Carney. Some also struggle with dementia and have no one who can help them make decisions about their own care.

Elder orphans are also hard on the medical system, says Carney, since they are often in crisis and need to seek help from costly hospital emergency rooms. The better approach, she says, would be to have care plans in place for these seniors so they don't end up in crisis in the first place.

For single adults who are in now their 50's and 60's, Carney has this advice: start making plans.

"Think about advanced directives," she advises. "Who will be that decision-maker for you if you are unable to make decisions? Get a health care proxy; find an advocate, create a strategy for yourself."

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Elder orphans: Childless, unmarried baby boomers warned to prepare for future