Question: You recently responded to a senior who said she had always managed the family finances but felt that she might be slipping. That letter could have been written by my mother except she is too stubborn to admit that she needs help! Mom has always managed her finances well but lately, she has begun receiving a ton of online shopping orders and she also seems to be spending more than usual. She has not asked for help and I am not sure how to approach her about it. What can I do to find out if my mom has lost her ability to control her finances? Is it even my business?
Answer: If you are a caring child, which it sounds like you are, it is absolutely your business to make sure your mom is staying safe – both physically and financially. If you noticed rain pouring in through a hole in the roof, would you help her find a roofer? Of course you would! Finances are the same; we have a duty to protect our loved ones, or at least try.
Like all of us, your mom receives solicitations every day by mail, phone, email, text or enticing ads on television. Also like all of us, she probably enjoys having packages, “presents,” delivered to her doorstep. These elements, combined with the fact that many seniors feel isolated and lonely, can be contributing factors to frivolous purchases and susceptibility to fraud or undue influence.
Researchers Dr. Mark Lachs of Weill Cornell Medical College and Duke Han of Rush University Medical Center have proposed clinical recognition of “Age-Associated Financial Vulnerability” (AAFV). Lachs and Rush found that while it is widely known that early signs of dementia can include the loss of ability to manage one’s finances or to make sound financial decisions, natural changes in the brain may cause difficulties in money management – absent any disease or cognitive decline.
Your question states that your mom seems to be “spending more than usual.” One of the key criteria of AAFV is that new financial behavior is inconsistent with how the senior has dealt with money in the past. However, before jumping to a conclusion of AAFV or worse, try to rule out other possible reasons for increased spending. Does your mom have new expenses related to a health issue? Has she undertaken a new hobby or acquired a new interest that could explain additional expenditures? Find out if there is a legitimate reason for the increased spending.
Additional warning signs that an elderly parent may need help managing finances can include unopened bills or mail piling up, creditors calling (check caller ID logs) and unusual or increased donations to charities. Junk-mail in the form of solicitations for investment schemes or “winning” sweepstakes notifications are both big red flags. If your mom is doing anything with these solicitations other than immediately tossing them out, you must investigate her finances. According to the Senate Special Committee on Aging, seniors lose an estimated $2.9 billion annually from financial exploitation.
Seniors are continuously subjected to sophisticated and aggressive scams; it is our duty to try to help. In a respectful and non-judgmental manner, open a dialogue with your mother about the spending; you may find her welcoming of your help.
Full Article & Source:
Liza Horvath, Senior Advocate: Age-associated financial vulnerability
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