'Twas the Fright Before Christmas

'Twas the fright before Christmas and in Just-Us house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse.

The stockings were hung by the railing with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The grabbers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dollar signs danced in their heads.

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to attention to see what was the matter.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Into the court came St. Nick with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
But his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

He had just come from the Chambers of Hell
where there and the bench there was such a smell!

A bundle of bucks he had flung on his back,
And he looked mad as a bear about to attack.

His eyes didn't twinkle! He started to shake!
His cheeks were drawn in, like he'd just seen a snake!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Tore down all the stockings; then turned with a jerk.

Shaking his finger at the crew at the bench,
So angry you could see his fist started to clench -

To the judge and the clerk, and the Incest Crew,
He said, "Get out! You're all through!
You're going to a place that's better for you!"

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the shot of a pistol.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to Mary, and to all a good-night -
Except the schemers and scammers from Hell -
They shall all rot in a cell!"

And the bag of bucks was left behind, for Mary!
My Christmas wish for her.

~Anonymous NASGA Member