Ernie and Madelyn got married on Valentine's Day. She was 86, he 88. The two, both widowed, had been good friends for many years. Family members and church friends were tickled to see their love blossom.
Bob and Barbara surprised their family by announcing they would be married soon at the church they attend. Both also are widowed and had found love through their church connection.
Louis and Vera, both living in an assisted-living facility, found comfort and companionship when they started eating meals together. Now they share laughter -- and intimate moments.
Sometimes families are supportive, other times upset when mom or dad finds love or intimacy after one spouse dies.
But when that parent has dementia and lives in a memory care facility, it can be unsettling. If a mother hardly recognizes her own children, how can she consent to intimacy?
A recent occurrence at Heritage Place Community Assisted Living Facility and Memory Care Center in Bandon prompted a flurry of phone calls, meetings and even an appointment with an attorney. A staff member walked in on an 86-year-old woman and man, both memory care residents with differing levels of dementia, while they were having sex. When the employee tried to redirect the behavior, she was told by the couple that they were doing what they wanted to do and to leave them alone.
State law mandates that it must be determined whether the intimacy was consensual. Did one of the people involved feel fearful or threatened? Did they know what was going on? Though one of the partners in a relationship may have a higher level of cognition than the other, that doesn't necessarily mean the sex was coerced, Lubke said.
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Assisted Living Sex Stire Worry
2 comments:
It certainly is a conundrum. People should have freedom of choice, for sure, but at the same time those with diminshed capacity may be easily manipulated.
check out the N.W. Examiner Feb. article on Gaurdian abuse, and explotation Justice
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