HIS OWN DAUGHTER.
For those who don’t know, a guardianship is anarchy. The guardian doesn’t have to abide by laws common in child custody. The guardian can do whatever he/she wants. These laws are regulated on a state-by-state basis. The courts are notorious for rubber-stamping them.
I’ve gotten the rubber stamp twice, after filing two petitions in two separate years and under two different judges, to get a visit with my sister Amanda.
Amanda has Down syndrome and in 2013 (following the death of our dad, of whom I was primary caretaker along with Amanda), she was swooped out to Arizona from our home state of Michigan. This was following a dispute between another sibling, our oldest sister Robin, and the current guardian, brother Ted.
Amanda and I stayed together during those very painful months and we wrote a book, “The North Side of Down.” Immediately after we published it, our story won the Honorary Medallion from the Book Reader’s Appreciation Group. This made Amanda one of the few co-authors in the world with Down syndrome… And Perhaps the only award-winning co-author.
It was my first glimpse into what a horror show guardianship is. I was so relieved when Ted won that case. Amanda was terrified that Robin was going to win. But we both thought things would be just fine now.
Anyone who has followed this blog has seen the struggle I have been though, just trying to get quality time with my sister.
Who knew it was going to be so hard to get permission to take your sister out for movies and pizza?
Evil is rampant, and it isn’t just toward the elderly.
Amanda is a cash cow. Her disability check is “worth a lot more than people thought,” Ted’s wife Ruthie said, back when she was still talking to me.
I couldn’t have cared less about the money. But I am becoming very aware of how much others do.
Back during the days of more open communication, Ted told me he was afraid if Amanda spent too much time with me in Michigan, “she won’t want to come back.”
He transferred her case to Arizona in an attempt to thwart me from filing further petitions.
It’s not going to work.
The only thing that has prevented me this year is the influx of Covid-19.
Now, per this text message, he claims he has removed me from notices about Amanda’s legal status through the court. He said I refused delivery (not true) and I will not be getting any more updates. Ted has lied to me in the past, so it may not be true that he has requested me to be removed and the court agreed, but if it is, it wouldn’t surprise me.
When I posted this latest update on Facebook, a friend asked, “How low can Ted go?”
I guess we are finding that out, eh?
I thought his real low point was when Amanda wept in the restaurant and begged him to let her have time with me.
This friend is not alone. There are a number of friends and relatives, including people who have known Amanda her whole life, who are aghast at the way Ted is treating her. They don’t speak out. Many of them have even withdrawn from Amanda because they are so disgusted by the situation.
I wish people had more courage. Granted, my sisters can be vicious. They are bullies. They will gang up on you.
Do the right thing.
We need to shed a light on this unethical behavior of guardians. Thank you, Catherine Falk, for pegging away at it.
On September 24th, Amanda turns 50 years old. Hang in there, little sis. I’m not giving up.
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In Other News, Peter Falk’s Daughter is Still Chipping Away at Guardianship