Sunday, April 24, 2011

Adult Children Often Step in to Handle Tasks for Parents

After several years of her aging mother's hardships -- including open-heart surgery, a bad fall down 13 stairs and the death of a close companion -- Mary Margaret Esler knew she needed to step in and help her mom, Irene Esler, manage her life.

Esler, of Lower Burrell, has taken charge of her mother's checkbook and pays the bills. The younger Esler does all of the household chores, like laundry and cleaning, for Irene Esler, 77, who now is staying in a nursing home after falling and breaking her ankle. The older Esler has struggled, at times, as she accepts help from her daughter, with whom she has lived for several years.

"I have to give her a little bit of leeway, but she can't do it" on her own, says Mary Margaret Esler, 48. "She doesn't mind the help, but it's the fact that she can't do it anymore. She says, 'I used to do that; why can't I do it now?'

"I figured, if she kept me for that long, I can keep her," Mary Margaret Esler says, recalling her childhood.

When an elderly parent or other loved one reaches the point where everyday tasks become difficult -- particularly managing finances -- adult children need to intervene and take over some responsibilities, experts say. Yet, the situation is delicate; it's not easy for a parent to deal with what feels like a role reversal. After decades of managing their money and households, when older people can no longer do it without help from their grown kids, it can feel embarrassing and depressing.

One of the most important steps to take when helping ailing relatives, Small says, is giving power of attorney -- the permission for someone to act and make decisions on their behalf, financially and in other ways. This can help to protect seniors from their potentially bad choices.

Full Article and Source;
Adult Children Often Step in to Handle Tasks for Parents

7 comments:

Norma said...

Absolutely they do and they need a durable power of attorney to handle their parents needs. It's important.

Barbara said...

Guardianship takes parents awsy from their adult children.

Thelma said...

To Norma: Yeah! And what happens if they get sucked into the Great Guardian Giveaway and you get a judge who doesn't give a damn about your papers?

Eric said...

This article is a good example of adult children trying to do the right thing for their parents - the opposite of the picture often displayed in the media.

Mary said...

Right, Thelma. I had power of attorney and it got me nowhere.

Anonymous said...

We're helping my parents right now its the right thing to do and I remember back in the good old days before lawyers and courts controlled every aspect of our lives my parents actually helped their parents gee isn't that a odd thing to do?

Anonymous said...

Ashley,
My parents who live with my sister and her husband have a lawyer for a guardian. My sister and her husband are dominating and if the other children don't bow down to the brother-in-law the tells lies on them and my sister agrees with him and the guardian barrs the children from seeing the parents..This such thing happened to me. I can't even go on the property to see my elderly parents and if I do I face imprisonment, and this guardian is evil enough to do it.. Guardians are suppose to protect the elderly, but it is just the opposite.. As long as they get their paycheck they don't care and the judges let them get away with this abuse...What happened to "We The People" the government..I think it's time the people start taking charge and give thes crooked lawyers and judges the boot.. We have rights and they are taking them away...And also you can't find a lawyer to fight another in court unless you pay thousands..Jesus said, "Woe unto ye lawyers" ever wonder why?