On August 24th, I will appear in the appeals court here in Nahville, TN to defend against a charge placed on me by a court in GA. The charge says I harassed my dad's estate before he died earlier this year, and seeks about 30K from me in fees charged to my dad by a father, son and daughter law firm. The story is one that I will spare you but has forever impacted my life and the lives of my wife and kids.
In 2006 I got chose to get directly involved in my dad's care. He was being neglected, financially exploited by a sibling, and physically abused by one he loved. My children, and some awesome care during the 3 months he stayed here with us brought his spirit back from a very sad place. During the time he was with us, he was loved every minute of every day, without exception. It was a blessed time, even though we realized the ALZ and Parkinson's already had a firm grip on his mind and body. The time dad spent with us was priceless, and one little girl in particular got under his skin in a big,awesome way!
In 2007 after I took him back home and he had a terrible accident because his needs were being ignored. As a result, I chose to go to GA and filed in the GA court to take legal responsibility for my dad's care, not his money, just the care of his person. As a result of that action, I was demonized, placed in jail, sued, lied about, lied to, stolen from, but worst of all, my children never saw my dad again, and he never met my now 2 year old son. By legal definition that is elder abuse, but no one or agency in that small community in south GA would lift a finger to intervene. No pastor, family friend, or social agency. My dad was told that something bad would happened to him if he spoke to any of us and that he had to follow the rules or he would be taken away from my mom. The Adult services agency said that my dad did want to see my children, but they were not going to do anything about it. I had things happen to me in that probate court that were beyond believable. A lawyer claiming to be my dad's friend submitted motions and received judgments for his motions on the same day he submitted them, calling me an abuser, asking the court to put me in jail, saying dad was not sick and did not need someone to care for him, etc. He helped himself and his two children attorneys to at least 85K of my dad's retirement with all his filings "defending" my dad's "estate" against me. I wanted not a penny of his money, just proof of excellent care and visits with my kids.
None of us ever saw my dad again, he died in January, placed in a facility we were not allowed to visit with a central feeding line inserted he did not want and his suffering was prolonged when there was no chance of recovery from a stroke leaving him unable to swallow. I offered the entire dollar amount of this judgment and to go to jail for 6 months if they would let us take care of him on our dime or use the money and let him die at home. It was rejected, as was our request to attend the funeral. It is my understanding he was taken from south Georgia to his final resting place in South Carolina in the back of a pickup truck to "save money." My dad was a veteran.....he deserved better (even if he was not a veteran he deserved better).
I spent 2 nights in jail here in Williamson County, TN on a "fugitive from justice warrant issued by the court in GA for failing to attend a hearing in GA I knew nothing about. That was thrown out and expunged, and then this lawsuit for money was sent up here, no coincidence by the father and son attorney team that did everything in their power to make sure a father, son and grandchildren never had a relationship in this lifetime.
I will probably lose this lawsuit not because it is fair or right or just, but because of how the law reads and how lawyers can manipulate the rules at times and ignore or not even follow them at others.
My dad is free now. He cannot be hurt anymore, and this stuff is not about his care or honoring his memory.
I struggle with this knowledge: People that have behaved badly in this maybe even evil) profess to know and serve the same God I say I belong to. I cannot reconcile that at this time, and I am sorry that my struggle with that causes my family and my friends a great deal of pain, especially my spousal unit. I have a lost a few friends over this, wanting me to get over it and get on with it. If my dad was able to take care of himself, I never would have stepped into this madness.
I struggle with the knowledge that I have witnessed such disregard for my dad's rights and my own, and that the abuse and exploitation of our older loved ones is more commonplace than I ever imagined it to be. I wanted to believe that if someone or some regulatory body higher up the food chain reviewed what was happening they would take necessary action. I was wrong.
Regards,
Izzy
Full Essay and Source:
NASGA- Dr. H. Boyd Israel
20 comments:
My heart goes out to you Izzy and what your dad and you have suffered needlessly and unlawfully. You are a strong abd devotred son. Your dad I am sure was very proud for your efforts.
Izzy-
My heart breaks for you and your family. The greed, blatant disregard for the law and violation of our Constitutional rights is incomprehensible. What I continually struggle with is the injustice. We all have well documented cases that are indisputable and not one person can do anything to stop them from taking our loved ones away from us. It just continues day after day in every courtroom across the United States. My grandmother's story is very much like that of your father. Just like you, I kept thinking someone would intervene. Afterall, we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. It never happened. No one ever stopped it. My beloved grandmother died a horrible death in a disgusting nursing home when she could have been in her own home. At least, I was able to attend her funeral. I could not have handled what you were forced to endure. I started a blog in my grandmother's memory a few months ago. It is my release. I will never give up this fight, and I will never the same. There has to be a way to stop this insanity. You and your beautiful family are in my prayers. Sincerely, Lori DeMartini
www.nonikatieshouse.blogspot.com
I agree wholeheartedly with Sara.
Izzy there are not words and your story resonates with hundreds of thousands: you and your dad were wronged! I, as so many others are still facing the same horrors you and your family faced: you are an inspiration, I beleive, for all of us. You are my inspiration. As i fight for my rights and safety, others are fighting for my Mother: I am left with prayer and protest and the Supreme Court of Illinois to do the right thing. No devil in hell or person in spirit will stop me from saving my Mother's life. Your dad's legacy in your, Izzy lives on in our struggles ad for that, I thank you.
Thank you for sharing with us.
it never ceases to amaze me how cruel and greedy these vultures are.
When guardianship goes wrong, it goes horribly wrong. Yes, your Dad deserved better. And you did too. And so did your children. So many lives are adversly affected in guardianship abuse.
Your children have an exceptional father and your father had an exceptional son.
Some people can not leave well enough alone. If there is money to be had, or some vulnerable elder to be exploited, the vultures are there. We sure live in an ugly world of Constitutional disregard.
The saddest thing is that you were seperated from your Dad. I am so sorry for what you went through.
Izzy:
I found myself in the same place but had to make a decision whether or not I would let these parasites destroy my life as they had my mothers.
Then I remembered ... "Choose Life" I was gently reminded that it was a "choice" I had to make and I KNOW my mom would want me to choose my own health.
Vengeance is mine says the Lord!
My story is exactly the same. Why is the government abusing elderly people?
Praying for you, Izzy....
Izzy, I am really sorry to read what your had to endured in order to protect your dad; worst of all there is the feeling of helplessness that I felt as I read about your experience. My mother was also a victim of a similar guardianship at the Miami-Dade County Circuit Court, I was also accused of unspeakable things for wanting to help my mother, and have been scarred by the experience of knowing that the judge over mother's case ignored the law, and that nobody cared! My mother as your dad, passed recently, if it of any comfort,I would like to tell you that you that there is NOthing more you could have done to help him, just as there was nothing else I could have done to help save my mom.I thank God, for an NASGA,as it provides a place for us to voice the abuses that go on in our courts, in hopes that someone would look into these cases. Furthermore, It helps us expose the awful reality, that unless everyone does their part in exposing and demanding a change in the current laws, that we are all doomed to fall at the hands of these type of unscrupulous people.
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. I am sorry that the system and some of the people in it choose to take something that was intended to protect and honor the rights and assets of individuals with special needs and twist it into something that does the opposite.
You did the right thing, Izzy. The system did wrong.
I am issuing an invitation. I would like documentation and hard evidence of all the wonderful court appointed professional fiduciaries who do not drain estates, allienate families to the point where families are forced to dispute the "care" they are giving.
Just send this hard evidence to Elaine at NASGA and I am sure I will get it. Remeber though, I want hard evidence not just a statement that there are wonderful professional fiduciaries. Sincerely, Rudy Bush
I pray for some peace to find you and your family. Your story sounds absurdly, much like mine and my fathers. He was a veteran too, stripped of his civil rights in probate court in OR, held hostage, neglected and abused, restricted from the only thing in life he wanted, his children. He left this world on Feb 26 2011. He has been set free and is no longer suffering. We, his children are left to find some place for all we witnessed this wonderful man suffer through, the emotional pain we got to hear in his voice, the pain and neglect on his face and body-ravished with MS, and less one leg from being hit by a car head on while sitting on his scooter in 2006. He had a family, a family fighting to care for him, a family who didn't need one red cent of his money, but did need to hear his voice, see his smile, and hold his hand. I will pray for courage and strength for you, that you are able to keep moving in this world after such an injustice. I don't know how to do that yet. The movie in my head from the last three years won't let me, and the uncertainty of a future in Federal court fighting for what ALL those sworn to protect, and didn't come close, won't let me either. My commitment to changing the future, so that no other family is forced to endure this suffering, on behalf of a man who was loved so hard and dealt such tragedy in his life, yet, his smile was the first thing you saw, is the only way I know how to change his legacy, perhaps, find some peace in all of this, and change a peace of the world that I never saw coming.... My love and prayers to you and your family, and to your wonderful father who clearly has earned his "wings" somewhere else. Mary
Dear Izzy,
We all at NASGA have been through similar situations. Do let 2 senators know what you have told us as they are drafting S462 which is supposed to prevent elder abuse. Senator Whitehouse RI and Senator Kohl Wis. By 2012, there may be a federal "office of Elder Justice."
As to your personal loss, really horiffic, try to memorialize your Father in some special way. Talk about him with the kids, make an album with pictures or give a memorial to a church or Veterans organization. It seems as if the criminals prey particularly on veterans. Keep on keeping on, Mary Waddell
I have never read a more eloquent expression of the grief that lingers in the mind of one who placed heart and soul on the line to love a parent - but lost the parent, the battle and hope in the process – than sentiments beginning with, “I struggle with this knowledge. . .”
Izzy, you tell your (father’s) story through the standard themes of guardian abuse perpetrated by a corrupt court and deceitful attorneys, yet you gloss over abusive or neglectful actions by several relations that preconditioned your desire to rescue your father and, later, file motions to appoint a guardian of his person and estate. Having reacted to similar circumstances in the same way, I now believe that shielding dangerous relations, whether out of mistaken love, pity, sense of duty or fear of the “family conflict” label in court, is wrong. Filing criminal charges against anyone who knowingly endangers a vulnerable person’s life and reporting those who do so unwittingly should be the first step in getting someone out of harm’s way, before filing protective motions. Failing that, we enable pathologically sick relations to trespass again in unforeseeable ways against our parent and us, including through the court.
There’s also the matter of naively expecting one low court to do too much: save the weak, punish the wicked, appoint the righteous, etc.
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