From The Silver Standard’s Elder Abuse Reform Now Project: No One Would Believe You Are in Your 70's

On August 23, 1973 Jan-Erik Olsson pulled a loaded submachine gun and fired at the ceiling of a bank in Stockholm, Sweden. After wounding a policeman, Olsson and a partner took four bank employees hostage, herding them into a bank vault.

He then quickly established a first-name relationship with the hostages and, over a period of six days, swung back and forth between threats of physical harm and acts of thoughtfulness, created an atmosphere where the hostages’ fear of and reliance on their captor resulted in a reaction now referred to as Stockholm Syndrome.

The robber’s benevolent acts curried the sympathy of his hostages. “When he treated us well,” said one hostage, “we could think of him as an emergency God.” They began to fear the police more than their captor. One hostage called the Prime Minister and pleaded with him to let the robbers take her with them in the escape car, saying that she fully trusted him and she feared that the police “…will attack and cause us to die.”

Once the robbers were captured, the hostages embraced, kissed, and shook hands with them. One shouted to the handcuffed criminals, “…I will see you again.” Some days later, one asked a psychiatrist, “Is there something wrong with me? Why don’t I hate them?” The psychiatrists explained that their experience was similar to that of a shell-shocked POW—the hostages had become so emotionally indebted to their abductors that they began to see the abductors, rather than the rescuers, as their saviors.

Just think, four people—all young, healthy, and in complete control of their faculties—and every one of them was totally brainwashed over a period of just six days…six days.

A great deal of financial elder abuse comes through deception and undue influence very similar to this sort of brainwashing,. It most often takes place in locations where there are no witnesses o step in. Usually, it starts out clothed in a velvet glove, but it ends all too frequently in tragedy—and even violence and death. It comes from family, bankers, lawyers, financial advisors, helpful neighbors, tradesmen, housekeepers, caregivers, and total strangers.

Most of us know a woman in her 70s or early 80s—a mother whose husband of many years, the person who dealt with home repairmen and almost all financial decisions, is now gone. One who has begun to find more and more of her friends names showing up on the obituary page, and others who can no longer drive. One whose children live hectic lives with children, grandchildren, and jobs. And the winter weather keeps her at home and alone too much.

A couple of friends may be trying to get her to follow their move to sunny Florida. She is in excellent health, she has all her wits about her, and her kids have been worried about the direction her life has been taking, so everyone decides Florida is just the answer

Things look good—she found a nice house to buy, the kids talk to her every few days and are delighted to hear she has landed next to a lovely couple who drop in every few days to make sure she is OK and offer to do her shopping at the same time they do theirs.

The neighbor husband says she does not need to hire someone to mow her tiny lawn—he is happy to do it when he mows his own lawn.

When she is not feeling well, the wife recommends a doctor, takes her there, and then brings her soup for the next few days.

Soon, she is frequently receiving gifts of homemade meals and flowers from their garden.

Her roof springs a leak and he offers to deal with the roofing man for her and, when she writes the check for the work, he mentions that he has a nephew who is very good at helping seniors increase their income.

The nephew is a lovely young man. But, she thinks she will just keep this to herself and not tell her children. “They always think I’m helpless… wait until they see how much money I make,” she thinks.

The neighbors take her to a social club, and for the first time in a long time she is with a group of people laughing and dancing and enjoying themselves. A very nice man asks her to dance. He’s a little younger than she but later he calls and asks her out to dinner. He brings her gifts—he’s a bit flirty—it feels so good—she’s alive again.

The seduction has begun.

Or perhaps it’s a widower in his 60s. He married his high school sweetheart. Though life gave them some bumps in the road from time to time, they were a team, they always got through it together. Now he has sold his business for a very healthy sum, or retired with a good pension, and they are going to do all the things they could not do while busy raising children and building his business. Then, disease killed all those dreams. Now, he is alone without the one who always had his back and who had always been there to bring sunshine into a grey day.

At first, friends made sure to keep him busy, but months go buy and that dwindles off. He has lunch with his retired friends, and plays golf as often as weather allows. He has taken to going to movies in the afternoon—not much fun alone.

He can never find anything he is looking for; he keeps forgetting to renew his prescriptions, he ran out of clean shirts and can’t find the name of the laundry. Some nights he eats at a restaurant alone, others he stops by the Chinese take-out or that pizza place they had both liked, or he gets one of those delicious roast beef sandwiches they always ordered from their favorite deli.

When he gets home, the lights are off—it’s so quiet. She always had music playing. He opens his sandwich, gets himself a drink, and settles into his cozy chair. The sandwich doesn’t taste as good as it used to. He turns on the news, but there is no one to discuss it with, and it’s all the same old same old anyway so he turns it off. He settles in with a book—it’s so quiet.

After a few months, he hires someone to take care of the housework. Her resume is impressive. She is working to support her unwell mother while trying to save enough to go to go back to college—It’s also nice to have someone around who is always interested in what he has to say.

She makes things he likes to eat and brings them to him as a surprise. Soon she is cooking dinner for him. She seems to always know just where everything is. He has clean shirts, his meds are always at the bedside, dinner is hot and delicious—almost as good as his wife’s. She is young yet she finds his conversation fascinating. She tells him he is much more interesting than men her age. She tells him, to look at him, no one would believe he was in his 60s.

Now, the lights are on when he gets home—it’s no longer quiet, and there is someone there who finds him attractive and interesting.

The seduction has begun. It may take more than six weeks, but it won’t take long.

Margaret Singer, Ph.D. (1922–2003) was a clinical psychologist and adjunct professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and a nationally renowned expert on cults and brainwashing. In the 1990s doctor Singer, by that time a senior citizen herself, turned her attention to the problem of undue influence in elder abuse, saying, “People who are clearly competent from a legal and psychological standpoint are making decisions that just don't make sense to us. Undue influence seems to offer an explanation… People use their roles to exploit the trust, dependency, and fear of others…They use this power to deceptively gain control over decision making.” 

I am a good example of a tough old bird who wants to help the
other old birds see to it that their roofs and swings and cages
don't get stolen. ~Margaret Singer

Obtaining frequent access to a senior citizen provides an abuser with an opportunity to censor mail and, using all manner of excuses and explanations, reduce outside contact and visits, especially from family and close friends. With comments from the abuser, the senior begins to feel they have been brushed aside by loved ones and makes it easy for the abuser to convince the senior that they are the only one who really care about them. According to Doctor Singer, they frequently start to infantilize the senior, or over medicate them, and soon the older person feels totally dependent on the abuser. She says they create a “siege mentality” similar to the brainwashing of captives and hostages. They terrorize seniors into believing that only they can protect them from being removed from their home and placed in an institution or from having all their possessions and means of support taken from them. Some use what are commonly called “gaslighting” techniques, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, and weakening their self-esteem. They also frequently use reduction of food as a weapon. Both fear and nutritional deprivation will incapacitate even the most intelligent person, let alone an elderly person who is beginning to experience a feeling of helplessness, abandonment by those they love, and distrusting their own memory. Or, worse yet, they have been convinced their loved ones are plotting against them, which often results in the victim identifying with the abuser and rejecting those who love them and are trying to save them.

In the documentary The Unforgivable Truth, produced by The Silver Standard, you can hear a very distressed mother screaming at her daughter to go away because “Don says you can’t be here”—even though Don has her living in a dirty house, sleeping in filthy sheets, without regular healthy home-cooked meals, cut off from the daughters with whom she has always been very close, and clearly terrorized. All of this is the absolute opposite situation from that which she enjoyed under the protection of her loving daughters. Yet, she is rejecting the daughters. In the end she died alone in that dirty bed.

Dr. Singer stresses the importance of remaining actively involved in the life of loved ones who are elderly. Do all you can to keep them in a position where the possibility of their falling victim to brainwashing or undue influence is greatly diminished.

Make sure they have plenty of mental stimulation.

Visit as often as you can.

Call frequently—it does not have to be a long conversation, just check in a couple of times a day to let them know you love them.

Arrange visits from friends or individuals from their religious organizations.

Make sure they eat three nutritious meals a daily …stock their freezer.

Make sure that any dentures fit properly so eating is not a problem.

Make sure a log is kept of medication intake.

Make sure their eyes are examined regularly.

Make sure they have the proper lenses in their glasses.

Make sure their hearing is checked regularly and hearing aids provided if necessary.

Make sure they have books on tape if reading is not possible.

Make sure they have both a radio and a TV.

If possible, arrange to have them taken to a senior center, church group, or social organization once or twice a week.

If possible, make arrangements for them to participate in bridge, or other game, book, or Bible study groups.

If they are fragile, have the mail sent to your office or a lawyer’s office, and do it before they get to a point of being vulnerable to anyone who might have inappropriate motives.

If a home health care worker, or anyone else, tells you they are too ill for you to visit, drop in anyway—take some bright flowers—you don’t have to stay long

It is best to do everything possible to prevent the situation from happening in the first place. However, sometimes a close relative or friend can step in and save the senior. But that is only if the abuser is not also a guardian—which is all too often the case.

When you have a loved one who is clearly in decline, gather family and discuss guardianship by family members before a stranger, family services, or the court system gets involved.

One by one each of us can try to protect those we love, but the instances of elder abuse in this country, especially financial elder abuse, are growing at an alarming rate. A shocking number of American seniors, who should be enjoying their golden years, are suffering and dying from the tragic circumstances of elder abuse.

In the end, no matter how hard individuals try to prevent it or stop it once it has begun, elder abuse will only become a sin of the past when every state makes the penalties for abusing a senior so harsh that it's not worth taking the chance.

Note: Much of the information on Dr. Singer was taken from a 1996 interview by NCPEA

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Full Article & Source:
No One Would Believe You Are in Your 70's

From The Silver Standard’s Elder Abuse Reform Now Project: The Changing Face of Joan

By Joan Hunt

The thing I miss the most about being a younger person is supple skin. The face that looks back at me in the mirror has all the same features, but the skin doesn’t seem to fit around them quite as nicely as it used to. There is a little excess around the chin and wrinkles around the eyes that look like they don’t exactly know what to do with themselves.

Men often handle this problem by growing a mustache and a beard. Women are stuck with plastic surgery, injections, or extraordinary makeup. Being averse to the physical and financial pain inflicted by the first two choices, I had to find a makeup regimen that could keep me from cringing when I look in the mirror.

Now here’s the conundrum. As a woman ages, it takes more makeup to make her look good, but at the same time any amount of makeup is more obvious on more mature skin. What to do? Well, fortunately my eyesight isn’t as good as it once was, and for a while it worked to just not look too closely at my face in the mirror. But it was getting harder to put what makeup I did wear on my face because I couldn’t see what I was doing. So, I bought a magnifying mirror. Big mistake!

I immediately called my youngest daughter, who is a makeup artist, and begged for help. If she could make a normal person look like the Frankenstein monster, might not the reverse be true? She laughed at me and fit me into her schedule for the following week.

Hillary does a lot of weddings, and she shared that one of the biggest challenges she has is working with the mother of the bride. First, they are emotional because their daughter has chosen a life partner that isn’t her. Second is the rite of passage. Mom’s role now includes her in the older generation, and most of us have a little trouble being relegated to the back seat. And beyond that, most women in this age group haven’t changed their “look” or their makeup regimen for over a decade.

They end up being very grateful for my daughter, because she has targeted mature skin as one of her specialties. And she works with them until they are comfortable with their new look.

“So, why have you let your own mother walk around looking like a stegosaurus all these years?” I ask her. Apparently, she has been giving me hints and tips all along, but I wasn’t taking them seriously. Now I am.

Just a few quick tips to share what I have learned. Moisturizer is essential, both at night and under makeup during the day. Let it soak in before applying makeup. Next is the foundation primer, which prepares the skin for the makeup. Liquid is best, applied with an egg (a little egg-shaped sponge that retails for about $20). I am still unsure how often to wash this little gem, but I think it should be dry during application.

Foundation makeup needs to be the exact right shade, and it is worth spending a little more on this because it makes all the difference. Then liquid blush, not too much, blended on the top of cheekbones with the egg, followed by a highlighter just above that and leading around the outside of the eyes to make them pop.

My eyebrows have become thin and curly. An interesting challenge. We draw little lines along the shape of the brow, blend the foundation into them, and then blend with a brush. A little liquid eyeliner, then two applications of mascara to pump up the three eyelashes I have on each eye. Fake ones would be better, but I don’t have the patience. Lip liner, followed by gloss on the bows and on the under lip to plump them out. Spray entire face with a setting spray. And voila!

Sounds like I would look like Tammy Faye Bakker by now, remember her? But applied subtly and by the right hands, this is transformational. The idea is that it takes more to look like less. But yes, there is a downside. It cost me hundreds of dollars to acquire the high-end makeup items it requires, and in my inexperienced hands I need to start around 9 a.m. to look good by noon.

I will continue working on the techniques, and eventually I am sure it will become second nature. In the meantime, I am grateful to have a daughter who possesses this great information and talent. And on the days that I don’t have time to enhance my natural look, I remember what my grandmother told me when she started to get wrinkles and a sagging jawline.

“Smile,” she said. “It takes ten years off your face. And people will always be happy to see you.”

Full Article & Source:
From The Silver Standard’s Elder Abuse Reform Now Project: The Changing Face of Joan

From The Silver Standard’s Elder Abuse Reform Now Project: WHO WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN?

By Marcia Southwick, NASGA

At last, the abuses within the guardianship system are beginning to come to light!  The mistreatment of elders whose dignity is stripped by removal of rights is tragic and, in this country, it is happening in epidemic proportion.

Nearly every week now, new articles are appearing about professional guardians who financially abuse the people they are supposed to protect.  Both The New Yorker and The New York Times have done excellent articles—we hope other News outlets, especially TV, with 24 hours of air time each day and the myriad talk shows, will follow their lead. This is a subject, and Financial Elder Abuse, which is often achieved through the use of guardianship, must be at the top of the list of subjects that are unquestionably “in the public interest”.

No Adult is more vulnerable than a person held in guardianship. Their entire right to be heard or to fight back has been eradicated by the court. Under current law in many states, a protected person is denied the right to enter into a contract with another person or business, leaving them unable to engage a lawyer to help them seek protection. With a “court-crony” guardian appointed to act "in your best interest," rather than a lawyer of your own choosing by your side, aren't you a sitting duck if something goes wrong? The answer is a resounding YES. What if the guardian assigned to you is a person whose only interest is in exploiting those under his or her control?

In 2013, AARP stated that it's "best guess" estimate was that there were 1.5 million American adults under guardianship—You can be sure that number is much larger in 2019.

The public is beginning to see how dangerous this system of protection can be. Leaving innocent people vulnerable to abuse is inexcusable. What if your guardian isn't a cruel greedy person, just lazy or not very bright? The potential is always there for exploitation of an elder's estate simply by lack of oversight.

No one is looking over the shoulders of these "professionals" who the courts put in control of people’s assets and life altering decisions. Families frequently walk into this situation unintentionally by going to court, thinking that they'll get help for their elder loved one during family conflict.  But once the door closes behind a guardianship proceeding, anything can happen, leaving lives broken and scattered.

The public really has no understanding of the nature of these proceedings--they can, and frequently do, happen without witnesses or testimony—except the testimony of a lawyer who stands to make money if the guardianship is put in place. The guardians charge ridiculous fees ($100 to open the mail) and spend like there is no tomorrow. The elder's assets can be easily depleted by professionals without accountability, a problem that has turned this cottage industry into a shameful money grab. In New Mexico, researchers are just beginning to go through court records to figure out just how many guardianships there really are in that state. There are no systematic, central records.  Can you imagine? Guardians and conservators are let loose with people's money and entire lives without having a degree in finance or any special training in investments or healthcare. In fact, in many states, according to the Center for State Courts, there are no statutes that require real training, and only 13 states require criminal background checks. See http://www.eldersandcourts.org/Guardianship/Qualifications-of-Guardianships.aspx

Frequently the judge will not insist that a guardian account for every penny of the ward’s money spent. The guardians just keeps spending and charging and spending and charging.

Idaho and Minnesota are the only states keeping track of the money that is under the control of guardians or conservators; The combined total is over $1 billion. It is frightening to think how much it is nation wide.

Theoretically (and something like this actually happened to someone I know) you (the ward) might be a PhD who needs a little help, yet you could end up under the thumb of a college dropout with only the assurnce that he or she isn't a convicted felon to protect you. (How would they know if the courts don't perform criminal background checks?) My friend wasn't allowed to look at his own bank statements, even though he was in the business of finance, and, in two years, the guardianship fees and expenses added up to approximately $2 million. Think about it—that's $2,700 a day!  What about the qualifications of those who are handling this money? They were less qualified than he. Instead of being restricted to his house with aides watching his every move and monitoring anyone who visited, he could have been living at the Ritz with room service and fresh sheets every day!  The absurdity of this situation—and it exists in many of these guardianship cases.

THE GUARDIANSHIP SYSTEM HAS BECOME ALL ABOUT MONEY IT'S A RIP-OFF.

Here is one of many cases that breaks my heart.  Every so often, I post a video of New Yorker Dorothy Wilson, in her 80's, trapped by her guardian in a nursing home. The post has gone viral, with over 60,000 views and hundreds of comments expressing sympathy.  She looks directly into the camera and describes her plight as she becomes more and more upset. At the end, she is weeping and begging to go home. Why should an elderly person be removed from her own home by a court professional and thrown into a nursing home she hates?  Dorothy wasn't allowed to leave the facility to see her family. Instead, she was forced to eat Thanksgiving in the dining room, nearly empty because nursing home residents who are not wards of a guardian are perfectly free to spend as much time as they wish to spend with friends and family. Elders in guardianship, by contrast, are often isolated and restricted from all but very limited access to family. Even a Power of Attorney without a guardian can cause a person to lose much of their independence (see note) Dorothy died within three months of forced placement by the guardian.

Dorothy ended up in guardianship due to a family conflict. Her daughter Diane, describes the shock of finding out that a professional guardian has complete and final control over every aspect of her mother's life.  "On August 22, 2011, the guardian, Mary Giordano, along with a caseworker in Plainview, NY, went to my mother’s house and told her they were taking her to the hospital for a problem she had with her recent surgery. That is the only reason she willingly got in the car. Instead, they took her to Meadowbrook Care Nursing Home in Freeport, a sub-standard nursing home with substantiated reports of abuse, and registered her there as a resident. This location isolated Mom from her family, friends,and healthcare providers."  So many seniors don’t know the guardian and the court has prohibited family and friends from visiting. So, they sit all alone in a strange place, their life slipping by, and wondering why their family has abandoned them.

Listen to Dorothy Wilson’s pleas for help at the end of this video and you will weep to see what it is like to be under a guardianship with no control over your life. She feels as if she's in prison without having committed a crime. (In another video, she says that precisely). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhOWppokCrQ

If Dorothy isn't an example of someone who has been abused by this system, no one is.  Something needs to be done for people in this situation, and it needs to be done now!  10,000 Baby Boomers turn 65 every day and every one of them has a target on their back—With a lifetime of hard-earned savings and insurance to plunder, they have exactly what these for-profit professionals want: they only have to ensnare them in the benevolent net of “just wanting to help" or " just wanting to do what's in their best interest". If you are a baby boomer, be aware that you too can easily become a far lesser version of the person you are at this moment—a person with rights to come and go freely, a person entitled to spend your own money as you wish, and a person with the power to live where you want and see who you want.

Educate your children about what family conflict could do to you and their future. Judges have a way of saying, "I don't go out looking for people to put into guardianship. The cases come to ME."  They've got a point—so, for now, the only REAL remedy for Boomers is to stay out of court if at all possible.

Full Article  & Source:
From The Silver Standard’s Elder Abuse Reform Now Project:  WHO WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN?

Considering a Change of Address Rather Than a Nursing Home

From the Elder Abuse Reform Now Project (the EARN Project) and the Silver Standard News!

By Mary West

Most people are familiar with the reality that neglect and understaffing in nursing homes can result in a range of adverse health consequences to residents, such as malnutrition, dehydration and injuries. While it is known that intentional abuse also occurs, many are often unaware of its breathtaking depth and scope. Tragically, the lack of knowledge of the physical, emotional and sexual mistreatment that sometimes happens in these facilities can put a loved one in danger.

The news accounts below show the horrific indignities and cruelties the elderly and infirmed are subjected to in nursing homes. Case 2 through Case 6 are merely a few of the 65 incidents reported by ProPublica that have come to the attention of authorities since 2012. While the stories vary, the thread they have in common is a shocking lack of respect for human life. The 65 cases only represent incidents where the perpetrators got caught—it is sobering to imagine how many more abuses must go undetected.

Case 1

Minnesota’s Star Tribune reports on Jean Krause, a 78 year-old  resident of an assisted living facility called Heritage House who was sexually assaulted by her caregiver, 59 year-old David DeLong. On the evening of May 8, 2016, Krause was found in a fetal position in bed, unclothed below her waist. DeLong stood a few feet away, breathing heavily with his underwear and jeans at his knees. When a female staff member noticed DeLong, he began pulling up his clothes. Later, the bloodstained clothing and mattress pad of Krause was discovered in the facility’s washing machine. DNA evidence proved DeLong’s guilt. No one told the family about the sexual assault at the time.

Case 2

In 2013, a nursing assistant at Newaygo Medical Care Facility in Freemont, Michigan was accused of taking an inappropriate  photograph of an Alzheimer’s disease resident. This picture, which involved the resident sitting on the toilet with their private parts exposed, included a drawing of a penis having the caption “limp dick.” After the image was shared on Snapchat, the assistant was fired.

Case 3

A similar incident occurred in 2014 at the Prestige Post-Acute and Rehab Center in Centralia, Washington. In this case, a nursing assistant recorded a video of a resident sitting on the toilet and shared it with another assistant working on the other side of the building. The resident’s face was visible, her pants were below her knees, and she was singing and laughing while cleaning herself. Upon learning of the abuse, the administrators notified the police and terminated the employee.

Case 4

Yet more horrors were reported in the California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform in 2014. A photo was taken of a resident wearing only an underwear brief being carried over the shoulder of a male nursing assistant. Other pictures featured residents inappropriately exposed and/or deceased. One of the nursing aides said that such pictures and videos were frequently sent among the nursing staff.

Case 5

Another astoundingly heartless case, involved a Snapchat video from the Bentley Senior Living Center in Jefferson, Georgia, which appeared in 2018 in the Athens Banner-Herald. The video, recorded in a hospice room, showed employees smoking a vape pen and yelling curses at an elderly woman who lay dying of a stroke. It was posted online and labeled, “The End.”

Case 6

In 2015, the Chicago Tribune provided an account of a recorded  incident at Rosewood Care Center in St. Charles, Illinois. In it, a nursing home assistant was assistant slapping the face of a 97 year-old dementia resident with a nylon strap. The video, posted on Snapchat, showed the resident crying, “Don’t! Don’t!” as employees laughed. The two employees were fired.

The fear these stories cause us, that a loved one could suffer similar abuses, is all to understandable. The idea of a precious parent being the victim of such atrocious treatment is unbearable.

What can be done about the abuse? The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, which has oversight over nursing homes, has requested state health departments ensure all facilities have policies that prohibit staff from taking demeaning pictures of residents. However, because the nature of nursing assistants’ work involves being alone with residents, enforcing such policies 100 percent of the time seems impossible. State laws, requiring Nursing Homes to report abuse vary greatly and compliance with the laws that do exist Compliance very unreliable. Fortunately, a safer housing alternative is available.

The Co-housing Housing Alternative

In view of the drawbacks and dangers associated with living in nursing homes, more and more people are considering an alternative – co-housing with friends. This option is quite attractive, as it offers benefits that include improved quality of life, cost efficiency and greater safety. A co-housing community is similar to a college dorm of best friends. It’s a unique environment that consists of bedrooms and a shared space that includes a living room, library, fitness area, garden and more. ...

Living with friends prevents the social isolation so often seen in long-term care facilities. Because the arrangement involves engaging in activities together, such as cooking, watching television and gardening, the emotional and psychosocial advantages are enormous. In addition to the companionship, co-housing also provides an ever-present network for the exchang of information.
Moreover, the inherent support system increases the likelihood that seniors will stay active. Having friends with whom to take regular walks, go on outings or play scrabble helps promote engagement in life and happiness.

Financial benefits of co-housing are substantial. Nursing homes are very expensive, and even a retirement home with plenty of nice amenities may not fall within the budget of many seniors. In contrast, when friends share a home, they each contribute to the cost of  rent, utilities and food, thus making it an affordable option.

One of the biggest perks of co-housing revolves around safety. If seniors became ill or suffer an injury while home alone, it might take hours or even days before a family member discovers their plight and gets help. Conversely, within the co-housing community, the members would know to check on someone who doesn’t appear for breakfast or who has a medical condition.

Full Article & Source:
Considering a Change of Address Rather Than a Nursing Home

See Also:
The Elder Abuse Reform Now Project

Guardianship... Yet Another Hall of Fame Member

From The Elder Abuse Reform Now Project and the Silver Standard News
by Marcia Southwick

MEET JUDITH WIDENER:

Judith has the dubious honor of having been inducted into The Boomers Against Elder Abuse Guardianship Hall of Shame in 2013.

Judith had 660 or more cases during her 17 years as a conservator in Nebraska.

At the time of her arrest, Judith was in charge of 216 wards spread out over 36 counties all over the state.

So how did she manage to visit all of her wards in far-off corners of the state? Who on earth would allow one guardian to handle 216 wards at a time? We are talking about 216 people who have had their fundamental rights and life savings taken away and have been put under the complete charge and control of Judith Widener.

To put this in perspective, imagine someone taking care of 216 dogs. Would not that person land in jail for abuse, negligence, or hoarding? Yet, Judith Widener was given control of 216 human beings with literally no oversight. Apparently, in Nebraska, it is perfectly acceptable to neglect and abuse elders, and others, rendered powerless by the court—human beings who can’t fight back and then use the bank accounts of those human beings for your self-benefit.

Wards of the state are people who have lost all rights and all power of choice to make any decision concerning their own life—even when it comes to choosing the people who can visit them.

A ward is person denied the right to drive a car—denied the right to carry their own personal ID or to even leave a facility without the guardian’s permission.

No one is more vulnerable than a ward of the court.

A ward no longer has equal rights in the eyes of the law.

A ward is even prohibited from signing a contract to hire an attorney to protect themselves.

The charges against Widener involved thefts, uncovered by State Auditor Mike Foley as part of an audit of the state Aid to the Aged, Blind and Disabled program. His staff audited a sample of the accounts connected with Widener’s business, Safe Haven. At that time, Widener controlled 40 bank accounts that held more than $600,000. Mind you, these are only samples of a few cases-- not the final figures.

Widener also allegedly accepted funds on behalf of wards who were no longer living, double-billed for services, and used funds belonging to wards to make personal payments on credit cards and for phone and television services to her home. She had also written checks from guardianship accounts for birthday and Christmas gifts to herself.

Judith Widener was sentenced to only 180 days in jail and instructed to pay restitution.

Full Article & Source:
Guardianship... Yet Another Hall of Fame Member

See Also:
The Elder Abuse Reform Now Project (The EARN Project)
Watch the documentary, "The Unforgivable Truth"

NURTURING OPTIMISM

by Leah Grace Goodwin

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.”
― A.A. Milne

In previous columns, I’ve written about the crucial formative role you, as a senior adult, can play in the lives of children and teens—whether they are your own grandchildren or other kin, or a neighborhood youngster in need of a caring role model. Your senior status, and your accrued wisdom and knowledge, can change the course of a young person’s life.

This month, as autumn approaches and kids return to school, I want to focus on a game-changing gift you can give: optimism. Some fortunate folks are more innately inclined to be upbeat than others, but optimism is also a learned skill. How you, as a grown-up, engage life’s vicissitudes rubs off on the young people you spend time with—and even if you aren’t the chirpiest person, you can also consciously teach optimistic thinking and action techniques. It’s never too late to start, either, so (no surprise here!) don’t despair if a youngster in your charge seems hardwired toward the Eeyore end of the spectrum. With your help, time can yield positive change!

As it turns out, the glass-half-full mentality isn’t just pleasant for others to be around. Optimism offers long-term benefits for physical and mental quality of life. “Pooh-bear” optimists are far more likely to live into the triple digits!

All that said, you are in a unique position to open up the world of optimism for your young charge(s). Your relationship with a young person is most likely not that of a parent, even if you happen to be fulfilling some of the roles a parent might typically take. When it comes to instilling optimism—and resilience, that inimitable quality of emotional “bounceability”—you, the grandparent, great-aunt or great-uncle, or neighborhood elder, have the advantage of being just enough outside the daily round to make a startling impact. These six techniques can make a big difference in a kid’s outlook on life. Put these into practice as a mentor and watch a child’s soul light up. (Psst: you might find yours lighting up too!).

Ditch the complaining. Accentuate the positive and mitigate the negative. Find yourself worrying out loud or catastrophizing? Hear yourself complaining about inconveniences? Quit it. Your focus on negative things will teach the youngster in your life to do the same. Instead, try talking instead about what’s going right on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. One caregiver suggests playing a game called “Roses and Thorns”: take a few minutes each time you’re with a youngster and reveal the best and worst things that have happened lately—with a focus on the positive. Bonus round: share a hope for tomorrow!

Show faith in your young friend by having lofty expectations for them. Give the person(s) in your life a chance to shine by asking things of them. Of course, the key is to be clear about your expectations, and flexible and appreciative about the way in which they seek to fulfill them. Kids take pride in a job well done.

Encourage sensible risk-taking. No need to encourage a young person’s penchant for impulsivity, if that’s an issue (and it can be for kids, especially when they lack guidance in the rest of their lives). It’s totally natural to want to protect kids and teens from hurts and consequences—but discouraging adventurousness saps confidence and can even encourage pessimism. Letting the reins a bit loose (or even letting go, in appropriate ways relative to your caregiving situation) encourages hopefulness and pride.

Temper the temptation to react when something hurtful happens or a challenge pops up. Optimism flourishes when you teach kids to be their own advocate. Giving kids a chance to problem solve on their own imparts a sense of accomplishment, which feeds an upbeat sense of empowerment. Yes, it takes self-control to curb the protective instinct—but offering support for your youngster’s independence gives a gift that lasts a lot longer than a quick fix.

Embrace the struggle. When we grown-ups, and in particular worldly-wise seniors, get frustrated and walk away from a challenge, claiming inability, kids learn to draw quick conclusions about their own skills, too. “I’m bad at writing!” “Math isn’t for me!” “Basketball is too hard.” All these sorts of responses to challenge suggest that your youngster is developing a permanent sense of his or her shortcomings. You can counter that by helping the young person reframe the challenge positively: “It’s hard now, but you’ll learn!” And let them know they’re not alone: “That was hard for me, too, when I was your age” or “Lots of kids struggle with this at first, and that’s okay.” Help your charge stay hopeful by bringing up another skill that took time to master and noting how great they are at that thing now.

Stay realistic and honest. True optimism involves the ability to assess a situation frankly and power through the challenge anyway. Trying to pretend a tough situation is easy, or offering shallow reassurances, doesn’t convince kids of anything. Kids are smart, and they can see through disingenuity quick as a flash. Actually, reassuring your young friend that everything will be fine without acknowledging the difficulties they face can have the opposite effect. “Optimism actually requires thinking realistically more than positively,” notes one expert. “That way, your child is prepared for whatever he faces.”

Add these tactics to your time with a young person, and you will find that the brighter side of things starts emerging from the messiness of life. As Pooh opined, today will indeed be their—and your—favorite day, more and more often.

Full Article & Source:
NURTURING OPTIMISM

Tonight on Marti Oakley's T. S. Radio: Abolishing Probate and Theft of Estates and Trusts

5:00 pm PST … 6:00 pm MST … 7:00 pm CST … 8:00 pm EST

Our guest tonight is Sharon De Lobo. Sharon produced the documentary: "The Unforgivable Truth"...the story of the theft of the family foundation ranch and funds. The entire Mercedes K. and Chandler H. Kibbee Foundation Fund and ranch were taken by the YMCA (Young Men's Christian Association). Mercedes K. Kibbee wanted her ranch and her fortune to be put to good use and for her ranch to be used as a safe, happy place for disadvantaged children. Instead, bad actors such as First Interstate Bank intervened and converted the foundation and all its assets to their own purposes in the name of the YMCA.

Quoted from the legal documents signed by Mercedes,: "I never gave permission for the foundation to be structured in such a way so as to allow its board of directors to be compiled of a majority of people who are also on the YMCA board.". Documents signed December 12, 2006.

From the Kibbee Foundation Board of Directors, Jay McGuiness who is the Executive Director of the Sheridan YMCA is heard at approximately 1:21 mins into the video, responding to questioning saying, "We own it now! Every vehicle, every tool, every painting"....and he goes on.

Estate theft and theft of trusts is common place in the predatory world of elder abuse by professional people and supposedly respectable institutions and organizations. The most common method used is to levy false charges of incapacity against the elderly individual with assets, to then guardianize the elderly individual and begin plundering the estate.

JOIN The Elder Abuse Reform Now Project

READ The Silver Standard News

WATCH The Unforgivable Truth

LISTEN to the show live or listen to the archive later