Monday, April 20, 2009

Mixed Emotions

I cry.

It is like I lost a part of me I can no longer find.

I am often sad.

I think back to everything I have been forced to go through unnecessarily, and question, how I have been able to endure it.

I feel angry.

I do not know what to do at the time, or if things would have turned out differently if I had been able to do more, or done less.

I feel frustrated.

Unless I am actively “getting back” by spreading the word, like a little child, telling people that I am hurting, and pointing my finger to those who have done it!

I get nasty or sarcastic.

I try or tell people about what happened to my mother and they look away uninterested or question the veracity of what I am saying.

I find myself saying that they will think of me when it happens to them;

but it will be too late.


Lori View said...

Guardianship is like cancer:
You don't want to know about it until it taps you on the shoulder!
Will it be too late?

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your pain.

How do we endure it? I guess we do because we have to. There is no choice made to endure - we just do.

Anonymous said...

Powerful words that begin to describe the lifechanging events and lifelong memories of an abusive guardianship of a loved one.

I agree that most people do not get it, they cannot believe what you, me, we are saying happened to our loved one and this could very well happen to them.

By actively exposing the truth about guardianships at every opportunity, you are giving your mother a voice, a voice that was silenced by the guardianship racket.

Anonymous said...

Well said. We lose a part of us that never comes back.

StandUp said...

I think there are also many victims who can't cry -- they need to cry but they're afraid that if they do, they won't be able to stop.