Not Her Home Anymore

Mother made me promise I would see to it she could stay in her home until her final day. But her court appointed guardian took away her comfort and made her life miserable.

My Mother suffered from dementia. Familiar surroundings give a person with dementia comfort, whereas major changes make the person agitated and uncomfortable.

Mother always took great pride in her decorating; she liked a European look, and had beautiful things from her country, Ukraine, which was her heritage. She had a large Ukrainian rug hanging in her living room; she loved that rug, and it was one of many things that made her house her home.

The guardian decided that Mother’s house was not modern enough --- she took down Mother’s prized Ukrainian rug. She disposed of Mother’s treasured Ukranian dolls and much of her furniture. Mother’s beautiful living room transformed into a stark room, void of the precious knick knacks and personal items that made it comfortable and familiar for her --- things that made her happy and gave her pleasure.

The Guardian also decided to remodel the kitchen. She had a new floor installed--- it wasn’t necessary nor did my Mother want it, but what Mother wanted didn’t matter to the Guardian. She replaced the curtains Mother lovingly hand sewed and with ugly gray funeral parlor looking curtains. A new refrigerator, a microwave, new vacuum, new windows and two air conditioners – all unnecessary expenses. Mother hated air conditioning, it made her cough and too cold. The Guardian used my Mother’s money to modernize Mother’s home for the Guardian’s comfort and the comfort of her staff --- not my Mother’s. Mother complained of the mess and the mental stress of the construction.

Mother told me it wasn’t her home anymore; and sadly, she was right. The Guardian turned my Mother’s home from her castle to a prison.

The Guardian charged Mother $280 an hour, over $46,000 for her fees in the first year of misery alone. She treated Mother like a child, didn’t do her job, ran up exorbitant and unnecessary expenses, and worse of all, despite my best efforts, I was powerless to help her. My complaints and pleas for help fell on deaf ears.

In Memoriam - Stephanie Hordijuk

May 2009 ~ Guardianship abuse victims recognized during Elder Abuse Prevention Month